Sex and the Campus

What constitutes an “accessory” for a man has been extensively debated. Certainly watches, belts and cell phones have long been accessories, but the debate continues concerning where to draw the manly line. One topic for example: is it acceptable for a man to carry a bag? This is a normal question. But what seems to be happening more and more is that men use their children as accessories to attract attention from the women they meet.

A friend of mine met an adorable child while shopping this summer. While speaking with this child, the father came around the corner and he began to speak with her. The conversation was brought to a halt by his attempt to ask her out for coffee. This is not the most atrocious of cases in which a child has been used to pick up women. They can be seen in many television depictions as well as stories from people you know. Some men have even “borrowed” their friends’ children to pick up potential dates.

I am certain that cavemen were more tactful in their mating grunts than modern men have been with their disgraceful attempts at strange pickups. Using children in such a manner is not as bad as it gets, since the generic lines accompanying these attempts are worse than any before them, and are becoming less and less creative.

Getting back to the children, I think that there might be some sort of international law concerning the use of one’s children for the purposes of attracting dates, though it’s not very clear what is and is not illegal labour.

What is it that has made this acceptable in the eyes of modern people? To use your own child or borrow someone else’s to attract a date should not be acceptable. I suppose before using children, dogs were used. The dog could simply sit there and be cute with zero maintenance and passers-by would gush. Somehow, possibly through a surplus of cute dogs, it became necessary escalate to children.

Even on reality television, we see men using their children to attract dates, whether they are in the open or behind closed doors. As we can see with Jon from Jon & Kate Plus 8, they have used their children to make boatloads of money, and this led to Jon’s under-the-table dating. After all, who wouldn’t want to date a celebrity? This new fame has led to even more money and social possibilities, and his relationship is out in the open because it sells. This is just one of the more extreme examples of using one’s children for personal gain. However in this case, it is not just for the dates, but for the money.

We can continue to encourage this by fawning over the somewhat cute children of the city, or we can put a stop to it, and not engage these men who insist on using children for such egregious purposes.