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Jessica Stewin | Mar 11
Just like video killed the radio star, online shopping has sent many traditional businesses the way of the dodo. We have seen the ramifications of the digital world in Canada, with two of the four McNally Robinson book stores in Canada closing at the end of last year. The company’s release recognized the role that online book stores played in their need to shut down these two locations, and file for bankruptcy protection, stating that "Booksellers in Canada are currently working against serious headwinds: recession, stagnant book prices, steep discounting and increasing competition from internet sales and electronic-text formats." Digital stores are putting the pressure on for new marketing strategies from many “traditional” businesses. Book stores have suffered at the...
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Leo Pettipas | Mar 11
Voyeurs During the summer of 1964, I was employed as a student research assistant in the U of M anthropology lab, and so it was particularly convenient for me to reside right there on campus. I occupied a room in the far west side of the men’s residence, or what later became known as Taché Hall. My room was located in the basement directly opposite from where the Arthur V. Mauro Student Residence stands today. The floor of my room was below ground level, which may explain the thriving colony of silverfish that was always there if I needed company. Running parallel to the building, right outside my window, was a sidewalk. And in some respects, this was a perfect...
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Jillian Coubrough | Mar 11
Of all the things that have captured my curiosity — death, religion, online shopping — self tanner takes the top spot. I've never been more fascinated by the product and the people who use it. When I did the routine “Google” for tanning, the first hit I got was "the process of making leather," I needed to read no more. Tanning is like dating the bad boy, or going blonde. It’s irresistible at the time, ends in regret and is impossible to gauge when enough is enough. So why do we bake when we know it's so bad? The sun is the center of the solar system, and come summer or come winter, the earth and all its beauty regimes...
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Corey King | Mar 11
A poem in hex!
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As transmitted through Corey King | Mar 11
When last we left Sam, he had strapped himself into the chair of judgment and made himself vanish . . .
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Ben Poggemiller | Mar 3
The quill quivered between Thomas’ shivering fingers as he wrote his final lines. Years of translating, compiling and composing left him within striking distance of finishing his work, but the cold London night threatened to delay him. Something told him, he must finish tonight, even though he had all the time he wanted. The king made it clear that Thomas was not to be pardoned. Had he even committed the crimes they said he did? He couldn’t remember, but it didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered now was finishing his work — his time as an errant knight would soon draw to a close. The glow of the moon, which faintly lit his cell, was partially blocked by the shadow...
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Jessica Stewin | Mar 3
This is an article for the stressed out overachiever who has spread themselves thin. According to a survey done by the U.S. Department of Labour, adults aged 25 to 54 spent an average of four hours a day in leisure activities. If you have forgotten what leisure activities even look like and rarely take four hours of down time in a week, then perhaps you are an overcommitted overachiever. There are so many opportunities out there. Whether a job, a volunteer position or a course being offered, all opportunities take time. If you take the time to add up all the hours you put into everything you’re involved in, you’ll likely be surprised by how little free time you actually...
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Leo Pettipas | Mar 3
Author’s note: The material presented below is intended for a mature audience and some of it may be unsuitable for young readers. Discretion is advised. Thank you. (A) Letters from God The brochure said that Taché Hall had accommodations for some 500 students. In a crowd that size there will inevitably be a generous sprinkling of memorable characters — like the one on my floor who got letters from God. Actually, he really didn’t get letters from God — he wrote them himself and forged God’s signature on them. The reason for this practice isn’t all that difficult to fathom: at the time, our scribe wasn’t a very good student, being prone to distraction from his scholarly pursuits to the...
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Jessica Stewin | Mar 3
Cleaning your bathroom is boring, but experiments aren’t. Sometimes just trying something new and creative can make cleaning interesting. I’m not saying cleaning is going to be fun, but when it comes between studying and cleaning — I don’t think my bathroom is cleaner than during finals. There are a few things you could try to help you in your procrastinating-cleaning adventures. As kids we demanded white bread for our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but who knew this could be used to help you clean? White bread is great for cleaning the dust off an oil painting. Simply dab a slice over the surface to get rid of dirt and grime. So you’re living off Kraft dinner, and everyone...
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Jillian Coubrough | Feb 26
Every year I wait with bated breath, well more like chapped lips and half-bitten fingernails, to be proven wrong. “This will be the year!” I say. “I can feel it.” Much like every time I drop my tickets in a wedding social auction. My optimism is really just disguised denial, and disappointment only rears its repulsive and all too accurate head. I’m talking about a derivative of the F-word: “February.” The month of love, that so many of us are devoted to hating, and hating the people who love it. Valentine’s day, Groundhog Day, Louis Riel Day, couple-coated Cineplex’s, Bill Murray movie marathons, destination less and equally reading less reading week. Did I mention the month for commercial tycoons to...
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As transmitted through Corey King | Feb 26
When last we left Sam, he had enlisted a hacker to help him bring an end to reality.
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Kevin Doole | Feb 26
I’ll put together a team of experts: the foremost zoologist in the world, the number one psychoanalyst, the most advanced child psychologist, the fittest evolutionary biologist and I suppose, even I — a pioneer for the greater good, oblivious to the businesspersons’ adage that “the proof is in the profit” — even I must admit, we’ll need a marketing type or some kind of a businessperson. The expedition shall balloon to a great cost in a very short period of time and we’ll need some manner of business model if we’re to survive. Group chemistry will be of upmost importance; we shall need to spend much time in very close proximity. Not overly close, but close. If the gang doesn’t...
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Ben Miller | Feb 26
“Hipster,” like “douchebag,” has reached a state of overuse that renders it almost entirely meaningless. To some, a hipster is a 17-year old wearing skinny jeans and listening to Arcade Fire. To others, a Mac-toting, would-be screenwriter, lounging in a Polish legion (despite being thoroughly Anglo-Saxon). The result is that “hipster,” stretching to accommodate these extremities, has torn, and all the meaning has oozed out the side. As a result of this meaning crisis, Gawker.com writers have called for the retirement of the term, and say that accusations of “hipsterism” have become circular and meaningless. What's to be done? Accepting a meaning of “hipster” broad enough to encompass both of the above examples leaves us without a specific word for...
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Erin Lebar | Feb 26
Since my last article, the heat now works, a cup is catching the hot water heater drippings, and I purchased some bedsheets. Things are looking up! As it turns out, some Polish girls who were using the room before me had taken all of the sheets, pillows and blankets with them when they left — those jerks. But, oddly enough, this problem provides a smooth segue into the first topic of this week’s column. There will always be Polish girls stealing your sheets. Figuratively speaking of course (in most cases that is). Stuff is always going to go wrong. No matter how long you spend planning and preparing, it only takes one thing to set off a crap-loaded domino effect...
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Jessica Stewin | Feb 26
The word “conflict” often draws up images of two boxers in a ring, Mommy and Daddy yelling at each other and other aggressive or scarring images. People generally don’t have a positive view of conflict, and to be frank, conflict is never going to be a warm blanket in front of a fire place to keep you warm on a winter’s night. But what if I told you conflict wasn’t all bad? Conflict is a part of life. Everyone is unique and as such we hold different positions on particular issues and will eventually clash with one another. Conflict is the byproduct of human interaction — it’s inevitable. That is why it is important to effectively deal with conflict, not...