Olympics bring obscurity to the forefront
Here’s to fringe sports — if you want to dignify them with the term ‘sports’
Winter sports are few and far between, likely because many of us want nothing to do with the frigid outdoors. There is hockey, skiing, snowboarding, snowman-making and — how could I forget — hockey. Thus, with only a handful of available options, crafting a lengthy roster of sports for the Winter Olympics must have been a daunting challenge.
Thankfully, there are fringe sports, the lonely cousins of their mainstream brethren. They may happen to have a great personality per say, but we all judge a book by its cover, leaving the unconventional sports on the sidelines. Consequently, this article falls under that same trap — we will judge the merits and the athletic ability required of the most indistinct sports head-on without providing them the trial run they probably deserve.
Ignoring Canada’s favourite niche sport — curling, here are some of the marginal sports at the 21st Winter Olympiad.
Luge/skeleton: Both appear more similar to a death sentence than sports that require vast athletic prowess. In essence, each competitor lies on their backs or fronts, keeping their head down to remain as aerodynamic as possible and hope for the best by steering their sled. In luge, you are feet-first, and in skeleton you see the terror first-hand as your head leads your body.
Besides the crucial start that can make or break a run, these sports seem to be a glorified waterslide, albeit one at ridiculous speeds, bringing to mind the question — who exactly thought a sport necessitating lying down deserves a spot in the games? Predominantly, there are only luge courses where the winter games were previously held, and there are few prospective kids clamouring to have their lives flash before their eyes.
Ski-jumping: If you have ever wanted to see a science experiment with humans as the subjects, you have come to the right place. Imagine placing a variety of differently weighted objects at the top of a ramp, releasing each of them, and then seeing how far each goes! You might even use the scientific formula, force equals mass multiplied by acceleration, to calculate your data. Now ladies and gentlemen, substitute the object for a human being, give the person a pair of skis, sprinkle the ramp with snow and you have manufactured an Olympic sport!
However, heaps of training is required to be a human test-dummy in this manner. For example, technique is imperative as competitors, in the effort to gain distance, place the back ends of their skis together to form a V-shape before making their landing. In fact, I find it adorable. A bunch of young rascals attempting to launch themselves farther then the next and labelling themselves as “athletes.” Cute.
Snowboard cross: If you have seen any footage from snowboard cross, you are entitled to believe it is a futuristic videogame. Essentially, four snowboard racers — who are likely failed freestylers — fly out of the gates and simultaneously race down an inclined track filled with jumps, curves and rolling terrain. Just like everyone’s favourite redneck sport, NASCAR, the most exciting portion is the crashes, and due to the poor snow conditions in Vancouver, there were plenty.
Its real selling point since its first Olympic games in 2006, however, is to gain the young viewers that have made the X-Games a marquee sports property, the same demographic shrieking for skate shoes and everything associated with the word “extreme.” In that regard, snowboard cross and its new incarnation, ski cross, has been successful as it has drawn attention-starved young eyeballs — well, for at least a few minutes before they preoccupy themselves with backyard wrestling or whatever the hip kids are up to these days.
Nordic combined: You know you are desperate for winter sports when you blatantly fuse two of them together — ski jumping and cross-country skiing. This “original” idea contains participants soaring off a ramp. Then the athletes cross-country ski, but only start racing based on their own preceding jumping distance. The farthest get an earlier starting point in the 10 km ski race).
Exciting to watch? Maybe. Obscure? Absolutely. Plus the sport was awarded the unsexy name of “nordic combined.” I can imagine it now, gentlemen bragging about their hockey proficiency to the ladies. Whereas one foolish sap will break-the-ice by revealing they compete in nordic combined. Best of luck, buddy.
Biathlon: If there was one sport devised by guys drinking at the bar then by golly, this is it. Legend has it one guy was tired of watching cross-country skiing. Thus, the tale states, a brilliant man found a solution to keep the athletic component of skiing but to minimize it with a trivial activity, i.e. shooting targets with a gun. Applause resounded from drunk listeners and minutes later, it was certified as an Olympic sport by the International Olympic Committee. Sadly, there was no sober second thought.
In reality, the above story makes as much logical sense as substituting athletic talent for the near-inactivity of targeting practice.
Ice Dancing: Yeah I tolerate figure skating, well, at least during the Olympics. However, this deformity of figure skating involves eliminating overhead lifts and jumps, the fun part, in favour of skaters remaining in contact and interpreting their moves through the rhythm of the music.
Sounds like ballroom dancing to me. Thankfully, no one is considering that as an Olympic sport . . . right?
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Discussion
Maybe you should try some of those sports.
In Luge/skeleton you are pulling about 5G's, which is getting close enough to make most people black out (plus if they are not, bobsled is not)
Ski jumping, well for starters, you need actually make a jump at the end. Then you need stay aerodynamic, then you need to land without breaking your legs.
Snowboard cross, just as much of a sport as skiing. You need to work on your speed, keeping your balance off the jumps which being pushed around.
Nordic Combined: You also have cross country skiing, and you have the reasons mentioned for ski jumping.
Biathlon you have cross country skiing, and trying to shoot a small target while you have accelerated breathing making it almost imposable for most people to shoot.
Ice dance, you still have lifting your partner, and keeping your balance while on those spins and everything.
Sorry to inform you, but not every sport evolves body contact.
The reason these "obscure" sports look easy when viewed from the comfort of your La-Z-Boy is because the participants are very good at them. Yes, you lie down in luge-- you also lie down to do sit-ups and use a bench press, so I'm not sure lying down is synonymous with "sedentary"-- but the speed lugers go at is literally enough to take your breath away, and they still have to have the reaction time and weight-shifting ability to make a turn on ice without crashing or flipping-- and if they can, try to make that turn faster than the dude before them. And as for ice dance, I think that if you'd watched the gold medal performance on Tuesday you'd have a smidge more respect-- unless you find doing a squat (on skates) with your arms spread whilst your partner stands on one skate on your thigh a trivial feat. I won't deny that these sports are obscure, but slamming them will not increase their popularity. At some point, any and all of your "real sports" were obscure-- if everyone had scoffed like you do, we might not have soccer or hockey today. If you want the obscure sports out of the Olympics, then work to increase their popularity and participation rates. And as an aside, most real athletes have respect for other athletes in all athletic endeavors.
You do have a mean turn of phrase though.
You do know that target shooting is a summer Olympic sport, right? It's not like the video games and not all athletic skill is based on fitness or strength. Precise control of minute muscle movements and breath control kind of sound like athletic abilities (especially if your heart is pounding as it would be in the biathlon).
And I like that you guessed at the origin of the sport, and then never bothered to find out the real story: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=winter+olympics+biathlon+origin