Babes in Toyland
If you’ve been reading my columns, then you know I think masturbation is great and we should all be doing more of it. I also think sex is great and we should all be having as much of it as we please. I know it doesn’t seem possible, but here’s how to make a good thing even better – sex toys. You may have endured an awkward passion party or scuttled into a skeevy adult shop or perused the offerings online and wondered if these things were really for you.
There are some weird attitudes people have about sex toys—they are for people who can’t have the real thing, you won’t be able to orgasm with a partner if you use them, they are only for women—a few of the common misconceptions around all things pleasurable. However, sex toys are for everyone of every gender and orientation. If you have parts, there is something to make them feel nice – or naughty if that’s what you’re into. They can enhance your solo or partnered pleasure. In the weeks and months to come, I will be showcasing the many types of toys, some of my favorites, and different ways to incorporate them into solo or partnered play. But first you have to buy a toy.
1) Research! Look up what kinds of toys are out there and see what might tickle your fancy/what you find interesting. Reading about different products or watching reviews on YouTube can be a great way to find out what the possibilities are.
2) Experiment! What kinds of sensations and stimulation do you like? Do you like a feeling of penetration? G-zone stimulation? Clitoral? Prostate? Figure out what gets you off and then look for a toy to help you do that in a different way.
3) Find body and environmentally safe materials. For things that are going in or on our most delicate parts, they sure make toys out of some scary things. Look for items that are phthalate and PVC-free and are ideally non-porous and made from materials like silicone or glass.
4) Go find out! Hopefully you have a friendly neighbourhood adult boutique. As a staff member of an upstanding establishment, I can tell you that we know what we are talking about. The staff are usually sex nerds and well educated on their products. They are trained to deal with talking to strangers about sensitive and intimate topics and are familiar with the products they carry. If you can, and you feel comfortable, go to an adult boutique near you. It also helps to hold and feel the item and see how it rumbles and what it feels like. If not, there are plenty of online stores that carry a variety of quality products they will ship discreetly right to your door.
Sex toys can be not only provide you self-pleasure, but allow for exploration and discovery in relationships too.
You can confidentially submit a question or topic to firstname.lastname@example.org.