Halloween parties are fun. What isn’t fun is realizing hours before heading out to a party that you forgot to figure what costume you were going to wear. Whether you fail at reading calendars, or are just lazy as sin, you might find yourself anxious to get down to Dollarama or Value Village at the last minute to buy some cheap, mass-produced costume. How boring!
Never fear for I have spent literally hours coming up with the best last minute costumes, which you are free to use in a bind. All you need is some basic supplies and clothing that you should have laying around.
Nudist on strike:
A classic lazy-man’s costume. You write up a sign that says “Nudist on Strike” and carry it while wearing plain clothes. It doesn’t get much lazier than this
Toilet paper mummy:
I’m not sure why this isn’t a much more popular costume annually. You wrap yourself in toilet paper until you sort of resemble a mummy. Voila! Possible costume modifier: a simple way to expand on the previous idea is to duct tape a pillow to your stomach to make it seem like you’re a pregnant mummy.
The Price is Right audience member:
When I thought about this simple idea — all you need is a yellow sales-tag style name tag — I looked online and saw that people had made the contestants’ row bidding signs to carry around as well. It’s definitely easier to just be one of the hundreds of hopefuls who don’t get on the show. Costume bonus: You get to walk around the party yelling random numbers at people — it’s part of your character.
Basically, you just wear your fake moustache and go as your “opposite” or “evil” self. Note: If you do not own a fake moustache you should first question your priorities in life — then find a marker (preferably washable) to use instead. Costume bonus: Enter a room with your fake moustache on and cause a scene. Then leave, remove the moustache, and re-enter the same room pretending like you have no idea why the whole party hates you.
If you’ve ever gotten a crummy t-shirt from another city or country as a gift, you can finally put that gift to good use. Wear it and you’re done. Optional accessories: luggage, fanny pack, socks and sandals, visor.
Person on a bus:
This costume is perfect for the socially awkward. All you need is a pair of headphones and a book to read, and just sit alone at the party reading while listening to your music. Possible costume modifier: Drink hard alcohol straight from the bottle to suddenly transform your costume into “That One Guy on the Bus.”
An employee at wherever you work:
Do you work at a coffee place or a grocery store? Did they provide you with a uniform? You just found yourself a costume! Potential costume modifier: If you have any zombie make-up or fake blood lying around, why don’t you just go as a zombie? You can be a zombie-employee all year round!