Self help from the Brain Twins©!

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Do you have trouble finding reasons to get up in the morning? Do you wish you could live up to your maximum potential? Well look no further loners, outcasts and vagabonds — help is on the way, DIY style!

After years of breaking new grounds in the self-help field, wunderkind lecturers the Brain Twins© have finally released their very first instructional DVD, a five-disc set entitled Go Get It, Dream Hard, Never Stop: Part One.

For only three installments of $79.99, you too could be on your way to cruising the mental health highway. Have you ever been told that you’re the office weirdo? Well not anymore thanks to the Brain Twins© and their revolutionary box-set Go Get It, Dream Hard, Never Stop: Part One.

Unlock the secrets of success and happiness with the many Brain Twin© mental health affirming lessons, including:

Daily Activities

Reach up with your arms as far as you can into the air. Point directly into the sun and say, “Listen here you piece of shit, I’m the only bright shining star in this galaxy. You’d better be on your way if you know what’s good for you.” Feels good doesn’t it? Repeat this step every single morning.

In fact, while you’re at it, go ahead and make a habit of staring at the sun as much as possible throughout the day. You get the benefit of soaking up all those good sun vitamins, plus it’s never a good idea to turn your back on the enemy.

Marital Advice

To jump for the prize, you must slide down the rainbow of opportunity. Don’t let it pass you by — rainbows only appear after the storm and you must run for it.

Self Motivation Techniques

Acronyms are the key to doing it yourself; without acronyms, we’re only animals. O.O.M.P.H.: Original, Overt, Move, Push, Hold it.

Eliminate the words “no,” “can’t” and “shouldn’t” from your vocabulary. Replace them with words like “synergy,” “superstar” and “game-changer.”

Fighting Off Depression

Step 1: Find a large (not small!) mirror.

Step 2: Repeat your mantra: “I am the go-get-er of my universe. Obstacles are merely butterfly hiccups on my journey ocean.”

Step 3: Grab your solution, leg wrestle it into submission.

Defending your cat and/or family from a midnight burglar attack

You may think the burglar coming into your house is the enemy — but he didn’t just sit there wishing for your stuff. He went and got it. This is the pro-active, do-it-yourself attitude we’re talking about here. Don’t just lie there sleeping — do it.

The tools you need to achieve greatness are literally at your fingertips. In fact, they are your fingertips! Point at what you want and take it!

Winning the Lottery

Have you tried sticking your desires on a dream board yet? That’s pretty important, I mean, don’t do anything else if you haven’t done that yet. Want a big house? Stick it on your dream board. Want to be president of the United States? Stick a picture of Jimmy Carter to your dream board and before you know it you will literally be Jimmy Carter. Self-improvement 101, people.

Getting the coveted workplace promotion

Bop it, pull it, twist it. Never let the dream reach the finish line before you do!

Ascending to the seventh door of the celestial plane

Pain is only the gateway to transcendence. Embrace the dragon lord that lurks in the shadows of your mind. If you wish to achieve eternal piece, you must swim against the stream of social providence — become one with the dwarf master.

All these life lessons and more!

Does empowering your Doing Factor© with this helpful advice cause beneficial betterment? No one can definitively prove it doesn’t! Order your own five-disc box set now! Go Get It, Dream Hard, Never Stop: Part One is not available in stores. Shipping and handling fees apply.