The debate over music and over different music styles has been raging for years. I am sure that ever since music started being played, someone has complained about it. I personally pride myself on being accepting of most music types, but I also make clear that over exposure to any certain genre can have very detrimental effects on the way that one may view a certain type of music.
One of the most controversial mainstream music genres is without a doubt rap. Rappers of all sorts have been known to say all sorts of stupid, obscene and unnecessary things. Now, before you start “hatin’” on me, let me make it clear. I enjoy a good dose of rap — in moderation, of course — because sometimes rap music can do what every other genre will fail to do. Perhaps it gets you in the zone before a sports game; I am almost positive that T-Swift can’t pull that one off.
As it is clear that rappers do have some ridiculous lyrics, I have chosen to share a few of those with you. This way, you can have a good laugh at the expense of someone who has made a lot of money for saying unintelligible things.
1 Ice Cube featuring
Das EFX — “Check Yo Self”
“Check yo self before you wreck yo self / ’Cause shotgun bullets are bad for your health.”
“Check yo self before you wreck yo self” has become common vernacular for thousands Grade 6 boys. Most of them don’t realize that the following statement outlines perhaps the most obvious fact known to man.
2 Notorious B.I.G
— “Live Freetstyle 95”
“I hope you’re listenin’, smackin’ babies at they christening.”
Is nothing sacred anymore? Are you honestly talking about smacking a newborn child? I don’t care what your context is, how can you justify telling someone that you hit children at their baptisms. Let’s not forget that “babies” is the plural for baby, meaning more than one. I think you get my point.
3 Dr. Dre
— “Nuthin’ But a ‘G’ Thang”
“Never let me slip, ’cause if I slip, then I’m slippin’.”
Doctor! Doctor! Help this man! He is slippin’! . . . Come on Dr. Dre. If you want to a clever play on words start studying a thesaurus. Just in case you didn’t know, the words slip, slip and slippin’ all mean the same thing. This is just painful to hear.
4 Shaquille O’Neal featuring Def Jef
— “(I Know I Got) Skillz”
“I’ll punch you in the stomach, I don’t give a heck.”
There are two obvious things wrong with this quote. The first is that Shaquille O’Neal, the very large basketball player, is rapping. Secondly, Shaquille O’Neal is rapping. Just because you’re famous, doesn’t mean you can start a musical “career.” You may have the money and the means to launch yourself into the spotlight, but it does not mean that you are going to gain a following. Another glorious example that fame does not always equal gain: K-Fed.
5 Rihanna featuring Drake — What’s My name
“The square root of 69 is eight something, right? / Cuz I’ve been tryna work it out.”
Doesn’t everyone know that the square root of 69 is 8.307? I heard this song on the radio (every two hours for three months) and I had to look up these lyrics. I just don’t understand what Drake is trying to say. The square root of a sexual reference . . . that’s about as far as I got.
This list is not exhaustive, as you can probably imagine. But this list does point out a sad reality: some rap sucks. Hate it or love it, but either way, you know I am right.