As I once again look at my calendar I can’t help but think, “My god, what a year 2011 has been.” There were so many dizzying highs and yet just as many frightening lows. It was such a momentous, newsworthy year I think it best to commemorate utilizing, once more, the artistic medium as old as time itself: the top ten list. Wait? This list only has seven? What a rip off.

1. In 2010, John Isner beat Nicolas Mahut 70-68 at the Wimbledon Championships in what was the longest match in tennis history, more than 11 hours played over the span of three days. Upon return to Wimbledon the next year, spectators and sports media alike are shocked by the revelation and that both Isner and Mahut never actually finished their match. Nearly a full year of fatigue weighing on the two athletes, Isner and Mahut eventually took to the comfort of lawn chairs, now simply using what little energy they had left to lob the ball back and forth just barely over the net.

2. Fans of mixed martial arts receive a ray of hope in the form of aesthetic maturity when several level-headed fighters band together to create a new line of MMA attire entitled “the non-douche bag.” The clothing is targeted at both college-aged males and middle-aged dads alike, and aims to dispel the myth that all fans of combat sports must look as though a golden dragon shat rhinestones all over their tight-fitting faded tee.

3. After failing to secure a FIFA World Cup tournament in either year of 2018 and 2022, the U.S. finally succeeds in winning a hosting bid for the global tournament — to be held in the year 2062. Reception to the news is lukewarm at best, many soccer fans realizing they will be long senile when the world travels to America to play “footy.”

4. The Boston Celtics advance to the NBA finals for the third time in past four years, winning the championship series over the San Antonio Spurs 4-2. With veterans Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, Shaquille O’Neal and Paul Pierce leading the way for the Celtics, Boston makes history as the first championship team whose starting lineup all kick full swing into their midlife crises mere moments after the final buzzer. Days later Shaq arrives at the parade ceremony dressed as his alter-ego, Kazaam.

5. After a third/fourth and final retirement from professional football, Brett Favre continues his meteoric fall from idolic superstardom when he appears on a string of reality television shows including: Dancing with the Stars, The Apprentice and, lastly, The Bachelorette. Before the end of the year, Favre begins boxing celebrities such as Danny Bonaduce and Dustin Diamond under the assumed name, “The Wrangler.”

6. Following a year in which the league was forced to postpone the start time of the winter classic due to weather concerns, the NHL’s annual outdoor game is tarped, bricked, paved and insulated — creating the most cozy, well conditioned (technically) outdoor hockey game to date.

7. After Reggie Bush’s return of the Heisman Trophy sparked a trend of heralded college athlete’s forfeiting their tainted awards, statitions are forced to explain why there now exist sizeable gaps in which no individual won the title of most outstanding college football player. For those who may be concerned, O.J. Simpson remains one of the few untarnished college athletes to win the Heisman Trophy. Wait, what?