On Oct. 25, 2010 an article appeared on the website of Marie Claire entitled “Should ‘Fatties’ Get a Room? (Even on TV?).” The author, Maura Kelly, inspired by the TV show Mike & Molly, talks of how disgusted she feels watching fat people do anything — let alone fuck. Her article has been taken apart by better writers than I, but being a fatty — one who occasionally fucks — I felt I could speak to this subject matter with some authority.
Kelly says: “Obesity is something most people have a ton of control over. It’s something they can change if they only put their minds to it.” Really? I just have to put my mind to it? Well if that’s the only obstacle then it should be no problem. Wow, I feel so empowered. I have been going about this all wrong. I just have to put my mind to it. I bet this could apply to drug addicts too. I should go to the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba and let them know that it’s all in their head!
Of course, Kelly is talking out of her ass. She, like many people, has trouble seeing obesity for what it is — an eating disorder. What makes this doubly sad is that Kelly herself, admittedly, has struggled with eating disorders. Of course, she had the obviously more socially acceptable disorder of anorexia. After all, at least they are skinny. And that is all society wants in the end. Skinny people fucking other skinny people, with hopes of making more skinny people. The fact is society loves thin people more. We seem to see more caring and supportive stories about those struggling for “the will to eat” and to just gain a few more pounds than we do for those of us who struggle every day with demons that push us ever closer to unhealthy overeating. Anorexia/bulimia is seen by most as a tragic cry for help. Obesity is treated as a drain on society and is often seen as being indicative of laziness and stupidity.
No one gets told that they cannot fly on a plane because they might be too skinny, but fatties can be refused check-in for flights without any proof that they are too fat to fly. Personally, the idea of watching overweight people fuck is unappealing to me as well; that’s why I turn off the lights and avoid mirrored venues for making sweet, sweaty love. Let’s face it: watching anybody fuck is often less than pleasant. Very few people have a body that would look good in the thralls of coitus caught on camera; this is why HD porn will never gain traction in the marketplace. Everyone has a level of “jiggliness” that is not esthetically satisfying compared to the plastic ideal put out there by the fashion industry. However, to go on a nationally syndicated blog and talk about how worthless fat is compared to thin is a kick to the groin of anyone struggling to get to a healthy weight.
It’s not like we don’t know skinny people think this. We see your faces, your oh so disgusted looks, and we hear your not so muffled judgements of our lack of will power — we own mirrors. Thanks for letting us know we are fat and different, but we already know. We have spent countless hours in our lives crying about it, wondering why we are the way we are. So thanks Ms. Kelly for publicly saying what the others are thinking, for putting on paper the hateful thoughts that most others keep quiet. You should get a fuckin’ award, call it the “I am hatefully honest and see no problem destroying the self esteem of others” award.
For your information Ms. Kelly, if not for shows like Mike & Molly and Roseanne, we fatties would be left with nothing more than the anorexic, horse-faced icons of Sex in the City showing us clothes that no normal human being could ever fit in and fucking people that I doubt actually exist outside of soundstages. So thank you Mike & Molly for showing a couple fatties like me engaging not in fucking, but in the simple, awkward and often hilarious act of falling in love.
Stephen Milner is finding it hard to stick the pins in his Maura Kelly voodoo doll with all this KFC grease on his fingers.