There is something I feel should be a universally accepted fact: it is incredibly hard to be single when you’re hurt or sick. Even the strongest and most independent people wish for a person to hold them during terrible afflictions, like a sprained ankle or a bad flu.
I was reminded of this a little while ago when I was introduced to the “ocho,” — eight in
Spanish — where you’re given eight shots of tequila.
I swore that I wasn’t going to do anything crazy at the start of the evening and at first it went just fine, with me drinking lighter drinks. Then it happened.
I had begun calling it quetilla, and probably should have known that meant no more, but I soon found myself attempting to down eight shots of pure unadulterated grossness, bringing
me to the very edge of my own limit.
And there it was, despite how many plutonic friends I was surrounded by, I was brought back to that one thought that every single person gets now and then: “All these people in a room and I’m still alone.”
The voice of reason gone, nothing saying, “You’ll be just fine. You’re smart, you’re savvy, you don’t need someone to reinforce you.” All that you feel is emptiness.
While pondering why we all get these feeling sometimes, I turned to the greatest of sources: Google.com. An image search for “feeling alone” turned up several photographs of emo kids crying in tunnels and a site called “All About Life Challenges,” which tried to tell me that feelings of loneliness can be caused by loss of relationships — thanks, internet, great answer — chronic illness, and the guilt of hidden secrets . . . among other things.
Maybe it’s as easy as simply identifying the cause of your discomfort and eliminating it. If something specific makes you lonely do what you have to do to stop it, even if it means not reading Wuthering Heights again.
Then again, when we get like this, it always reaches some sort of breaking point and we remember how smart and confident we are, how we can survive anything.
Or the ocho works its way out of your system and you just go to work and try to write an article on your lunch break.
Everything is whole again because it’s just mind over matter and you know that no matter
who you are, no matter how strong and independent you are, you’ll feel like this now and then.
Google searches and self-help reading sessions won’t get rid of the feelings any faster than just letting them run their course. Just remember everybody has days where they feel like this, you’re with millions of others in your solitude.