Dec. 6 lives on
Jacinthe Blab
Dec. 6 is Canada’s National Day of Action on Violence Against Women. I’ve been asked to write an article for the school paper about this day. Why me? Very simply: my name is on the Womyn’s list serve through the Womyn’s Centre, I have the time to put into writing an article, and I like to write. This day brings out a variety of emotional responses (including complete indifference) from almost everyone I know. Therefore, dear reader, if you wrote this article, you would have a very different take on what would be presented on this page. I encourage you to think about the implications of Dec. 6 in your life. You may not post it in a public forum like a newspaper, and this may be the first time that you have had to think about thinking about Dec. 6 — but your thoughts give this day value.
On Dec. 6 1989, an armed gunman killed 14 students at the Ecole Polytechnique campus in Montreal. The commonality that these 14 students shared was their sex. They were all women and this is with what their attacker took issue. The date of this horrendous tragedy is now a day to honour these women as well as raise awareness on the issues that women face regarding the systematic violence that is sadly inherent in our society in all demographics.
I am not going to post the assailant’s name. This day is not about him, nor does he deserve to live on in our minds — even in infamy. I am not going to list off the women’s names in this particular article, either. This day is absolutely about honouring their memories; it is, however, not about them. I am not going to provide an extensive bulleted list of statistics on the subject, either. The two stats most of us have heard time and time again are that between one in three or one in four women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime and three out of four women will be subjected to some type of abuse. The proliferation of these statistics does not reduce the rate at which women face violence. As a matter of fact it can aid in reducing women to numbers. It gets very easy to disassociate numbers from real faces and experiences.
One of the struggles that I face while writing this article is from what part of myself am I writing? Am I writing as a person who has a cunt? As a woman student? As a daughter? As “that girl” who has to pretend to have a boyfriend at a club in order to dissuade rude advances? As a person who’s been bullied by women for being a woman? As someone who was asked to perform inappropriate actions at place of work? As a rape survivor? As a friend of women who have been demeaned verbally, ass-slapped at clubs, kicked, beaten, bullied at work and raped by fathers, uncles, grandfathers, boyfriends, girlfriends, dates, and strangers? Violence has shaped entire parts of my life and if it hasn’t directly affected you, I can assure you that many people who are very dear to you have endured many sorts of violence. This list makes me realize that I am all of these things and the words I pen today are influenced by that fact. I am also saddened when I think of all my friends who have suffered, many of whom continue to struggle. However, I am also fired-up with hope and determination. But why?
There is information both practical and educational available through a variety of services in Winnipeg and across the nation relating to violence prevention, and awareness, as well as protection. But most of all, you are reading this! There are things that we can all do, all the time to kick the shit out of violence as well as love people (even people we don’t know) so deeply that there will be less and less room for that type of sick shenanigans.
Communities are made up of individual men, individual women, and individuals who self-identify in a variety of other ways. The eradication of violence is for everyone, at all times. I repeat: the eradication of violence is for everyone, at all times. Here is where I take issue with having one day dedicated to an issue of this magnitude — things are going to change, but not because we spent one hour of our year paying our dues. I liken it to Earth Day. Part of me laughs every time it rolls around. One day tipping our hat to a place we live, breathe, eat, bathe, and do every single thing that we do in life? Really? If you aren’t a woman, I’ll wager you know more than a few.
Dec. 6 should be about providing a platform to launch these discussions. Beyond Dec. 6: attend a Dec. 6 event, learn some of the tell-tale signs of abuse, read a book, donate time or money to a women’s organization, take a self-defence course, talk about your experiences, let other people share with you, if you’re scared you are abusive: get help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask someone if they need help. Push past the discomfort of social awkwardness that keeps people quiet — silence is a best friend to violence while discussion and openness is the champion of those subjected to violence.
JOiN THE WOMYN’S CENTRE ON DEC. 6:
Remembrance Vigil
12 p.m., 205 University Centre (Flin Flon Room)
With Juliana West, Cheryl-Ann Carr and The North End Women’s Resource Centre Drum Group.
Reception
12:45 p.m.-2 p.m. at U of M Womyn’s Centre 190 Helen Glass
Women-only debriefing circle
2 p.m.-3:30 p.m. —
U of M Womyn’s Centre
With Lisa Seymour
