Batman is totally badass!
Spider-Man . . . not so much!
Matt Flamand and Steve O’donell
First of all, Spider-Man is a bitch. Batman is by far the superior superhero.
Now that we’ve gotten the obvious out of the way, the origins of the two heroes seems like the logical place to begin. Spider-Man received his powers from a fluke accident. Spider-Man was bitten a by a radioactive spider and, instead of dying, he received powers, and the only thing that motivated him to use those powers was the death of his uncle. Now, some might say that the only thing that motivates Batman was the death of his parents. Yet, the key difference between the two is that Batman went out and did something in order to become the superhero he now is. What did Spider-Man do to earn his superhero credibility? Nothing. It must be hard to fight crime when all you can do is swing by a web from building to building. After all, Spider-Man has lost touch with why he became a superhero, it was visible when he tried to quit being a “spider-man.” Batman has never turned his back on his mission and, when he was unable to be continue his mission, he passed on the torch. Batman never needed to be told “with great power comes great responsibility,” and most importantly, he never would have forgotten it.
Next we should compare the abilities of the two heroes. Batman is trained to be a dark assassin in the forms of all known martial arts. Batman has also dedicated himself to all forms of knowledge, including expanding his mind to be able to hold more information and recall it at a moment’s notice. Batman did this by learning to speed-read at a ridiculous pace (a trait that as a student I’m jealous of). This knowledge includes (but is not limited to) the knowledge of acting and criminology (Batman can actually evaluate the criminal mind). Batman has also learned through deep meditation a way to never sleep. Batman learned all this when he travelled the world, starting from the age of nine. These are all super abilities that Batman earned; they were not given to him by blind luck, unlike Spider-Man.
Spider-Man’s abilities include powers like spider senses, which give him advanced premonition and thus the ability to avoid harm. Spider-Man also has heightened agility that allows him to manoeuver in the air, flip around like a gymnast, and avoid getting hit. Finally, Spider-Man also has superhuman strength relative to his size. One thing I will give Spider-Man, though, is his superability to take a pretty good ass-kicking despite his powers, as has been proven time and time again as he gets beaten up by regular people like the King Pin.
If you look at each superhero’s “what if” battles, you will note that Batman has beat Superman, a feat Spider-Man could never accomplish. In Spider-Man’s “what if” battles,
Let’s be honest, Peter Parker is loser who can’t even hold a job. Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, is a billionaire playboy with a life to be desired by all.
The Punisher has killed Spider-Man. How super is that? Batman could easily beat the Punisher any day of the week, the dude is totally badass. To my knowledge, Spider-Man has never saved the world and has only saved his city; whereas Batman saves the world on a regular basis.
Another reason why Batman is superior to Spider-Man relates to their gadgets. Both of the heroes have toys, and we’ll start with Spider-Man as he is the simplest. Spider-Man has a web slinger that shoots webs and often runs out of fluid. His other toy is a geeky camera (and that’s more Peter Parker’s toy). Now, as for Batman’s toy selection, there are far too many to list, but some examples include his Batterang, grappling hook, and other beautiful goodies. Furthermore, you can bet that Batman’s camera would be way cooler that Spider-Man’s. Now, there is the obvious issue that has to be brought up. Yes, that’s right, it’s the Batmobile. Nothing can compete with how cool that car is, and with the immortal words of Batman: “It’s the car, chicks dig the car.”
Secret identities are crucial to any superhero. First of all, the only reason why nobody has figured out who Spider-Man is stems from the fact that every time he’s been unmasked nobody knows the face underneath the mask. Let’s be honest, Peter Parker is loser who can’t even hold a job. Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, is a billionaire playboy with a life to be desired by all. This brings us to the next point: how hard would it be to live the very public life of Bruce Wayne if every time he turns around he’s unmasked (like Spider-Man)? Everyone would know who he is!
To wind up this argument and prove once and for all that Batman is better than Spider-Man there is one key factor to consider — popularity. There have been three movies made about Spider-Man, and now they’re out of stories. Spider-Man didn’t even get a chance to face all his major enemies. Other than that, Spider-Man has had a couple of cartoon series. Yet how many movies have there been about Batman? There are already five and there is one more in the works. Batman also has had multiple cartoon series, as well as a live-action series. Batman also has a historical legacy, with movie serials dating from the 1940s. Obviously Batman is hugely popular, if he wasn’t, these productions never would have been made. Since he is more popular, I think most people would agree that he is better than Spider-Man.
Batman is way out of Spider-Man’s league. If you want a better comparison, compare Batman and Thor, Wolverine, or Chuck Norris, but even then nobody’s in the same league as the Dark Knight.
By Matt Flamand and Steve O’donell.
