Cellphone etiquette, or the lack thereof

ERYN THOREY MACKENZIE, STAFF

It has always seemed to me that a cellphone is really nothing more than a possibly cancer-causing, maybe wreaking havoc on bees, obnoxious, miniature, fancy, glorified walkie-talkie; I vowed never to get one. It occurred to me recently, however, that my life may just be in need of one for this school year. I am doing my thesis in Fine Arts, and will be spending hours upon hours cooped up in my little thesis cubby hole, unavailable to the masses who know, love, and absolutely must be able to get a hold of me. So now I own one of the heinous little things. It’s made me realize that after years of being annoyed by other peoples’ cellphone habits, I would have to make a few rules of cellphone etiquette to follow, in order to avoid being like one of those peoples whose cellphone habits annoy me so terribly.

First and foremost is GET OFF THE PHONE WHEN OPERATING A MOTOR VEHICLE! When I notice someone ahead of me driving erratically, going too slow, or swerving around, nine times out of 10 that someone is not drunk, they are on a cellphone. Five people together don’t have enough digits to count how many times I have almost been run over, knocked off my bike, or hit in my car by people yakking on their phone, oblivious to the world around them. Driving and phoning just do not go hand in hand. The British seem to know that, why don’t we? When visiting there recently, I saw a mere handful of people using their phone while driving, if that; most of those were pulled over to the side of the road with their hazard lights on. A friend of mine there stated it just never occurred to him that it would be OK to drive and use his phone at the same time. His voicemail message even says if you haven’t reached him live and in person, it is because he is driving, and you’ll just have to leave a message. If more people followed this line of thinking, other drivers, cyclists and pedestrians would have one less thing to worry about.

Speaking of motor vehicles, when you are on the bus, and your phone rings really loudly, just answer the darn thing, because people have a strange habit of, unlike when no one answers a land line, calling and calling and calling. Better yet, just keep your phone on vibrate. And if you do answer your phone, what of all the passengers around you? They really don’t care to hear your inane conversation about precisely where you are on the bus route. Here’s an example, “Yeah, we’re just passing the Safeway on McGillivray . . . ” Seriously. Not necessary. I don’t want to hear it, and if you were the unwilling listener, you wouldn’t want to hear it either. Also, nobody needs to hear about just what you got up to with whom on Friday night.

And how hard is it to remember to turn off your phone before you go to class? You know your phone is on, you know you are headed to a lecture, and you know your professor certainly does not think your life is more important than his or her class-time. Besides, your fellow students will snicker and/or glare at you. The courtesy of turning off your phone before class goes hand in hand with cinemas and concerts, never mind the two teenagers at MTC who were talking, to each other, on their phones during a play.

Perhaps the most irksome thing about cellphone use is the yahoo who won’t get off his or her phone while trying to make a purchase. Your first priority as a customer is acknowledging the person in front of you as another human being. If you are talking on your phone, not only are you being extremely discourteous, you are holding up the line. You should not be on your phone, you should be aiding the employee in an efficient, timely, and courteous transaction, simply by being courteous yourself. If your conversation is that important, finish it before you start your transaction.

I suppose cellphone use for me is not unlike the old adage, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” Use your phone in a way that you would like to see others use theirs.