Godzilla vs. Aurora
Super go confrontation time
BEN POGGEMILLER
Here is a synopsis of the upcoming film entitled Godzilla vs. Aurora , as conceived by me, Ben P.:
The movie opens on a large office building. Inside, Mr. Satsuma, the head of an evil corporation, is making a devious speech to his minions, who are all adorned in dark sunglasses. The sunglasses are how we know they’re bad guys. He describes his evil plan to violently take over the Japanese economy in some bizarre fashion.
According to a Japanese newscast, Satsuma has devastatingly polluted the Pacific Ocean in his hostile takeover.
Deep beneath the ocean, the outline of a large creature is barely visible. Judging from the dorsal scales it is probably Godzilla. The pollution has caused Godzilla to wake from his irradiated slumber. He rises slowly out of the ocean as thousands of Japanese flee from the beaches. Godzilla then begins to terrorize Japan, obviously irate over their lack of concern for the environment.
Disturbed, and fearing for his life, the evil Satsuma begins building a new weapon to fight Godzilla. He laughs maniacally to his minions as he completes his latest super-creature. He calls it Aurora.
The first confrontation between Aurora and Godzilla is about to begin. Is Godzilla supposed to be a hero? It’s hard to tell since it varies from movie to movie. Godzilla roars menacingly. Aurora roars menacingly in return. Godzilla is about to hit Aurora with his atomic breath but Aurora counters with a prerequisite error. Apparently Godzilla does not have the proper courses to fight Aurora, which is ridiculous, since he has three credit-hours in fighting King Kong, six credit-hours in fighting Mechagodzilla, and six credit-hours in fighting Rodan. Godzilla tries again and surprisingly it works. Aurora falls backwards, crushing several office buildings.
In an effort to buy time while it heals, Aurora hits Godzilla with a message saying that Godzilla’s registration is under review. Confused, Godzilla waits a few minutes and tries to attack again, only to receive the same message. Godzilla calls the registrar’s office and is put on hold for several hours. The registrar’s office eventually tells Godzilla that "it does that sometimes" and "that just means it’s busy." Godzilla now knows that "your registration" means "Aurora" and "is under review" means "is busy." It is too late however, because Aurora is now fully healed.
Out of nowhere comes Mothra, maternal defender of the world, to help Godzilla fight Aurora. Thousands more Japanese flee the cardboard décor of Tokyo as Mothra flaps her wings defiantly. Aurora quickly tries to hit Mothra with an "under review" error, but it has no effect on Mothra, since she uses her psychic ability to determine what the cryptic message actually means. Mothra lays several eggs to be used later. Unfortunately, she forgot to select the winter 2008 term for hatching, so precious seconds are wasted fixing the error. Aurora uses the delay to force Mothra’s connection to time out, and Mothra fades into oblivion.
While Aurora is distracted with fighting Mothra, Godzilla fully charges his atomic breath and unleashes it on Aurora. The merciless registration program falls over in a burning, bureaucratic lump. As Godzilla moves in for the kill, Mr. Satsuma launches a missile attack on Godzilla. Godzilla is only mildly injured in the attack, but the distraction has allowed Aurora to escape and hide, possibly behind thousands of fleeing Japanese.
Seeing that there is no immediate threat, and realizing that his contractual obligations have been fulfilled, Godzilla returns to the ocean once more.
The ending is unsatisfyingly open-ended, allowing for sequels that are in production at this moment. Aurora will return as a hero to mankind in Aurora vs. The Parking System while Godzilla will return as a villain to university students in Godzilla vs. The Bell Curve.
