Pitying the fools who don't stay in school!

The benefits of a university education

JACQUES MARCOUX

Whether you are fresh out of high school and enrolling in U1, or completing the final year of your undergraduate degree, at this time of the year every student must ask themselves the most important question of all: should I return to school? The answer is obvious: yes!

Some of your friends might have indicated that they have plans to “backpack through Europe” or “take it easy” (whatever that means). But not you. No sir. You are set out on a mission to acquire your university degree as with the relentlessness of a knowledge-seeking missile.

Certain dissenters of higher education will be quick to point out the opportunity-cost of attending university for four or so years following high school. These uneducated clowns will showcase their new Honda Civic, designer clothing and their latest cellphone in an attempt to coax you into dropping out. We all know these people. They pride themselves of their pathetic material belongings that you have consciously decided to defer, knowing all too well that your day will come. In the mean time, you ride the cramped bus to school, wear sweat pants and a T-shirt, and wait in line for the free phones sporadically found on campus. Such is the life of the student. After all, great things come to those who wait.

Despite your best efforts to ignore these pea-brained individuals, they keep insisting that school is not the answer, because, after all, they’re raking in the dough. They are making $30,000 a year working at the Liquor Commission, a meat-packing plant, or perhaps even waiting tables into the late hours of the night; all the while you are spending substantial amounts of money for your education, furthering yourself in debt. These people do not possess the mental capacity to conceptualize any form of thought beyond the time-span of about six months. But you know best. You know that five years down the road, when you are climbing your way up the corporate ladder or receiving your second Nobel Prize, your degreeless acquaintance will still be working the same dead-end job. He who laughs last, laughs best.

Without even needing to appeal to the higher income earning potential argument, this debate is already in the bag. Earning potential and intelligence quotient aside, the benefits of attending university continue to outnumber those of not attending. Although I cannot substantiate this from the female student body standpoint, from the male perspective, the university campus is a hot-bed for some of the most attractive and intellectually engaging young ladies this province has to offer. Good luck searching for that kind of companionship at Pharaoh’s!

Let’s not forget the financial shelters available to students in the form of discounts and tax breaks. The tax writeoffs, the discounted travel, paying student rates for anything ranging from a gym pass to concert tickets. The evidence is overwhelming that any person with their head square on their shoulders should go to university.

For all of you delinquents out there considering dropping out of school or not returning this fall, remember the wise words of Mr. T: “Don’t be a fool! Stay in school!”

I rest my case.

Jacques Marcoux is a fourth-year commerce student.