Steve vS. Steve: the ultimate douche-off
Allegations of libel are no laughing matter
Dean Jensen, Volunteer Staff
The Right Honourable Steve Harper is suing the Honorable Stéphane Dion and the Liberal Party of Canada in a $2.5-million libel suit, claiming that “false and despicable” allegations of corruption were made. Steve H. insists, in court and in the House of Commons, that Steve D. will pay heavily for those claims. I laughed when I heard this on the radio and I laughed again when I read over the report on the CBC’s website and I’m sure I might laugh about it some more somewhere down the line. However, I’m no longer laughing. In fact, I’m scratching my head and feeling deeply disturbed.
The gist of the story is that Steve D. and company are alleging that Conservative party members attempted to sway the crucial vote of the late independent MP Chuck Cadman of Surrey, B.C., in the spring of 2005 with substantial financial incentives (to the tune of a million bucks). Needless to say, Steve H. denies it, and hence the pending lawsuit. I don’t want to get much more involved in it because, frankly, the details are fairly mundane; and the kerfuffle being kicked up over it is, I’m sure time will show, wholly overblown.
That being said, let’s take a quick peak at the statement of claim, filed March 13 in the Ontario Superior Court of Justice. Amongst the legalese extensively detailing the short summary above, there are some gems worth repeating. My favourite of Mr. Harper’s grievances with the Liberal party is the allegation that “Prime Minister Harper was not clean,” and, of course, the recurring “Prime Minister Harper is a liar and lacks integrity.” I think it’s fair to say that the first of these two is obviously a falsehood, and Steve D. should be made to pay heavily for it — the PM, after all, has kept a personal hairstylist (Michelle Muntean) on payroll since he became PM.
Seriously, are there not better things for courts to be dealing with? Like rape cases (those involving persons or the environment,) for example? Jesus Christ, I mean, I always thought Harper was a big baby, but this is taking things to the next level.
This past week, Harper upped the ante once again and proceeded to sue his loyal opposition.
Come on, now. The office of the prime minister is innately a “despicable” position to hold. From John. A. MacDonald, our first prime minister, egomaniac and notorious drunk, guilty of the murder of Louis Riel and countless Chinese in the quest for his united Canada, to our last slimy Liberal prime minister Paul Martin, to say nothing of the overwhelming heap of scum who inhabited the office in between. Has anyone really respected any of these thieving money-grubbers for anything apart from holding down potentially the worst job in Canada long enough to make a killing for the interest groups (thinly-veiled as political parties) that got them into office in the first place?
The fact is that the prime minister’s office is presently involved in so many shady back-door dealings that it is “a danger to Canadian democracy,” as retired judge John Gomery recently warned. We’ve seen this with such shenanigans as Bill C-10, the Harper government’s unannounced military alliance with US Northern Command, and their despotic actions towards unwelcome criticism regarding the Canadian Wheat Board, Atomic Energy of Canada Ltd., and the scientific community at large. The Harper government has proven to be completely lacking in their regard for the democratic process, opting always for strong-arm politics and back-door dealings when faced with a public policy decision. This past week, Harper upped the ante once again and proceeded to sue his loyal opposition.
When I sat down to write this article, my laughter had subsided, and that same sickening of the stomach I’ve come to associate with Uncle Steve and his Conservative cronies had crept back in. I was reminded, then, of the words Hunter Thompson penned in 1968 about that year’s American presidential primaries: “the dimensions of what we have fucked up in this country are beyond any coherent explanation. It’s beyond any reasonable rage and almost beyond despair — in words, at least.”
However, Liberal MP Michael Ignatieff summed up this (potentially) sticky situation quite succinctly, saying Harper “won’t be able to evade Canadians the way he’s evaded this House. . . . He won’t be able to threaten them with lawsuits.” Not yet, at least. Maybe Steve D. will, indeed, lose this lawsuit and be forced to pay up big-time for doing what he was elected to do (offer criticism of the government), but why wait to find out? We ought to take Ignatieff’s words as a warning and get rid of these evil bastards before it’s too late.
Dean Jensen has bets placed both ways in this court case.
