Boobs in Africa
Matt Abra, volunteer staff
There is good news out there for women who would like to get boob jobs but lack the appropriate funds to make it happen. At Myfreeimplants.com, men can invest in breast surgery for women and aid in their bid to accumulate enough money for it. In return, the women chat online with the men and provide them with photos and videos of themselves. It is a classic case of “You give a little, you get a little.” Or more accurately: you show some ass, you get some cash.
Now, what women want to do with themselves is quite naturally their own business, and certainly there are plenty of far more appalling things to be found on the Internet. However, I did read about one particular case in CNews that raises some concern.
Since 2005, a married stay-at-home mom named Karla-Rae Morris has been indulging in the controversial exploits of Myfreeimplants.com. She is now proud to announce that $8,000 has been “generously” donated to her cause and that in the spring she will be upsizing herself from a 32AA cup to a 34C cup. One has to wonder about the priorities that are overtaking motherhood nowadays, but once again, it’s her own business. “I always felt like less of a woman and more like a little girl. It’s going to make me more confident wearing a swimsuit. And I won’t have to buy padded bras anymore,” she said.
Yes, she is concerning herself with her future swimsuit and bra purchases when there are starving children in Africa. Wow! Did I just go there? No, in fact I didn’t — she did: “It’s like donating to any charity. You feel like you’re doing good,” Morris said about the men. “When you’re donating to starving kids in Africa, you’re never going to see those kids eat and you’re never going to meet. Obviously, this is not as important as helping starving kids in Africa, but it’s the same basis. They [the men] want to help us out.”
Somehow, I am inclined to agree that it is not as important as feeding kids in Africa. And, Mrs. Morris, I’m even going to go out on a limb and say that it isn’t as important as feeding your own kids. In point of fact, it costs approximately $30 a month to help feed, cloth and educate a disadvantaged child in Africa, not to mention everywhere else in the world. If I do my math right, your newly acquired $8,000 could help support 267 children that aren’t as important as your boob job.
In the spirit of self righteousness, I’ve also decided to plug myself a bit and inform you that I in fact pay $30 a month to sponsor a child in Africa. Her name is Tania, and I have a picture of her. I even have an outline of her handprint. Perhaps Tania and I will never actually meet, but I can assure you of one thing — she is very real. Your new breasts, however, will not be.
No, Mrs. Morris, is it not as important as feeding those that need to be fed in Africa, or housed, for that matter — even in Fort McMurray, let alone Africa.
In Africa, by the way, a child dies of the measles every minute. That’s more than those taken by HIV, TB and malaria. Do you know what it would cost to prevent that? A dollar a child. Putting that into the context of fake tits, that’s 8,000 children that you might never see but would be alive if those that donated to the cause of enlarging your breasts weren’t complete morons.
Maybe something closer to home might make more sense, especially given the fact that you’re a mother.
