Top Tens of Two Thousand and Seven!

While Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzah, Eid al-Adha, Winter Solstice, Festivus, Bodhi Day, World AIDS Day, and the last day of class have all come and gone, the true yearly season of joy has finally reached its pinnacle: it’s the Manitoban Top 10s of the year, in this case 2007.

Please peruse, please enthuse, please find something you like; merry top 10s to all, and to all a good night!

Songs of the Year
Michael Elves, Program Co-ordinator for UMFM

10. Dawn Landes – “Young Folks”
Everyone knows the Peter, Bjorn, and John version, but Landes completely reinvents it as bluegrass with her cover version.

09. The Mohawk Lodge – “Wear ‘Em Out”
This scorcher is one of the reasons people need to listen to British Columbia’s White Whale Records.

08. Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova – “Falling Slowly / When Your Mind’s
Made Up”
Both of these come from the soundtrack to the film “Once.” If you like amazing music and good movies, you absolutely need to go rent it.

07. Mark Davis – “She Floated Away”
Davis, of roots group Old Reliable, turns in a haunting cover of this Hüsker Dü song from one of his two great records released in 2007.

06. The Weakerthans – “Civil Twilight”
The lead-off track to Reunion Tour, this one’s been performed live for many a year but has finally been laid to tape. Bus drivers dreaming about golfing – quintessential Winnipeg.

05. Quantic Soul Orchestra – “Melodious Wayfarer”
I’m incredibly jealous of Will Holland – the dude is crazy prolific and with each project he taps into new grooves and finds the funk. The horn lines on this song are killer.

04. Jens Lekman – “The Opposite of Hallelujah”
Another song that’s been around for awhile before finally landing on an album – this mildly morose song is dressed up as blissful pop.

03. Voxtrot – “Kid Gloves”
After some very promising EPs, I was a little underwhelmed by their self-titled LP, but this song kicked my ass on first listen and has continued to do so with each repeated listen.

02. Maria Taylor – “A Good Start”
The song title is incredibly accurate – Taylor’s leadoff track is a very catchy tune and had me pressing the << button on the iPod repeatedly.

01. Graham Isaacson – “What’s The Point”
Isaacson’s album (which was good) nearly made my top albums list – had it done so it would have been on the back of this song. It’s the perfect pairing of lyrical sentiment and singer’s voice: ragged, heartbroken, beleaguered, with a trace of hope.

Albums of the Year
Jared McKetiak, Station Manager for UMFM

Okkervil River — The Stage Names
The Sea and Cake — Everybody
Battles — Mirrored
Bill Callahan — Woke up on a Whaleheart
Burial — Untrue
Ghostface Killah — The Big Doe Rehab
Deerhunter — Cryptograms
Band of Horses — Cease to Begin
Page France — Page France and the Family Telephone
Western States — Western States

Albums out of Manitoba
Tessa Vanderhart, Editor-in-Chief

11. Anthem Red — Demos for Germans
10. Tigerrr Beat — Tigerrr Beat Ö KILL! EP
9. Pip Skid — The Pip Donahue EP
8. The Consumer Goods — Happy Bidet
7. Hide Your Daughters — The Teen Girl’s Guide to Social Success
6. Boats — Intercontinental Champion
5. Christine Fellows — Nevertheless
4. The Western States — The Western States
3. The Paperbacks — An Illusion Against Death
2. Nathan — Key Principles
1. The Weakerthans — Reunion Tour

Canadian albums
Ajitpaul Mangat, Sports Reporter

Caribou — Andorra CD
Wintersleep — Welcome To The Night Sky
Besnard Lakes — The Besnard Lakes Are The Dark Horse
Trouble Andrew — Trouble Andrew
Kevin Drew — Spirit IfÖ
Miracle Fortress — Five Roses
Venetian Snares — My Downfall
Feist — The Reminder
Stars — In Our Bedroom After The War
Holy Fuck — LP

Myspace musicians
Ted Barker, staff

This list, in no particular order, documents musicians and bands I have stumbled across on Myspace.com in 2007.

Most of these artists you won’t find in stores and many don’t even have full releases out, but each one, I feel, deserves recognition and deserves to be checked out.

Alessi - London, U.K. http://www.myspace.com/alessimusic
Indie / Folk.
I ordered her Bedroom Bound EP and it came in an envelope decorated in stars. Inside, the CD was tucked in a hand-sewn cloth bag with a personal note. Perfect.
Alela Diane - Nevada City, U.S. http://www.myspace.com/alelamusic
Folk / Acoustic / Indie.
Beautiful and haunting. I’d say someone to keep an eye on.
Johnny Flynn and the Sussex Wit - London, U.K. http://www.myspace.com/johnnyflynn
Country / Blues / Folk.
Think upbeat folk with an English accent.
Crystal Castles - Toronto - http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles
8 Bit / Electronica.
Maybe we’ve all heard of CC by now, but I’m listing them on my Myspace list because it’s damn near impossible to get ahold of a record. I ordered one like a year ago! A year!!
Ghost Bees - Halifax - http://www.myspace.com/ghostbees
Indie / Folk / Shoegaze.
I had the pleasure of seeing these two not long ago here in Winnipeg. They promised to come back, so keep your ears open.
Hurray for the riff raff - New Orleans, U.S. http://www.myspace.com/hurrayfortheriffraff
Folk / Blues.
Grimey ol’ folk music. Grimey in a good way.
O’death - New York, U.S. http://www.myspace.com/odeath
Folk / Bluegrass / Punk.
Punk Bluegrass. Can’t picture it? It’s fucking amazing.
The Dodos - San Francisco, U.S. http://www.myspace.com/mericlong
Indie / Folk / Experimental.
“Beware of the Maniacs,” although a 2006 release, was one of my favourite albums this year.
Coal Beautiere - California, US. http://www.myspace.com/coalbeautiere
Acousmatic / Tape music / Showtunes / Indie.
Quiet and pretty.
Postmortem Panty Raiders - Winnipeg. http://www.myspace.com/postmortempantyraiders
Grindcore / Crunk / Grime.
Disgusting local grindgore, and who doesn’t like disgusting metal?

Albums of the Year
Joel Trenaman, Volunteer Staff

Armchair Apocrypha - Andrew Bird
In Rainbows - Radiohead
Sky Blue Sky - Wilco
Drums and Guns - Low
We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank - Modest Mouse
Reunion Tour - The Weakerthans
New Moon - Elliott Smith
Fables - Immaculate Machine
Boxer - The National
An Illusion Against Death - The Paperbacks

Films of the year
Dylan Ferguson, Volunteer Staff

In a very specific and definitive order:

Sharks 3D in Imax
Sharks. 3D. Of all the sea’s beasts, of all the visible dimensions, this combination just spells, “righteous.” Why must we complain about the sorry state of narrative film, when the medium offers other, more spectacular, thrilling, jellyfish-laden possibilities?
Inland Empire
Other more eager (and less professional) film critics may have included the new David Lynch on their list last year, but I waited until I could actually see it. I now have, and I remain speechless.
Grindhouse
“Spectacle” is the theme for my top third, and Grindhouse, in its original, ill-fated three-hour-plus form, certainly fit the bill – though, in retrospect, it was little more than a launching pad for what may be Tarantino’s best-ever movie.
No Country for Old Men
If I had a haircut like Javier Bardem’s, I’d want to party. Not kill.
2 Days in Paris
Adam Goldberg and Julie Delpy make me want to cry. I like them.
Into Great Silence
Conspicuously absent from this “monk-umentary”: scenes of the Carthusians brewing and getting wasted off Chartreuse. “Who’s down for dos Chartreuse?” Anybody? No?”
Zodiac
David Fincher’s masterpiece. What, Fight Club? Fuck off.
Eastern Promises
Sentimental value. I have heard of this.
King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
A documentary about the titans of the Donkey Kong arcade game. I’ll let that hook you.
We Own the Night
Best car chase since The French Connection.

Overrated films
Chelse McKee, News Editor

10. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
9. Atonement
8. Across the Universe
7. Enchanted
6. Sweeney Todd
5. Catch and Release
4. Shrek the Third
3. Bee Movie
2. The Nanny Diaries
1. The Simpsons Movie

Britney Spears moments
Romer Bautista, Sports Editor

10. Jan. 9 — Ties Paris Hilton for top-spot on Mr. Blackwell’s 47th annual Worst Dressed list.

9. July 19 — Is said to have displayed erratic behaviour during a photo shoot with OK! Magazine, which included using a toilet without closing the bathroom door.

8. Sept. 30 — Her management team and divorce lawyer both drop her as a client.

7. Feb. 23 — Attacked photographers with an umbrella.

6. Oct. 30 — Her fifth studio album Blackout is released. It debuts at No. 2 on the billboard pop album charts, behind the Eagles’ Long Road to Eden.

5. Feb. 20 — Britney checks into, then out of, then back into rehab.

4. Sept. 9 — Britney delivers a memorable (or forgettable) performance at the MTV Video Music Awards.

3. Sept. 10 — Super-fan Chris Crocker posts a YouTube video crying for everyone to “Leave Britney alone!”

2. Oct. 1 — Britney is court-ordered to surrender custody of her two sons to ex-husband K-Fed.

1. Feb. 16 — Britney shaves her head bald at a salon in Tarzana, Cal..

Top 10 Manitoban Top 10 lists
Ben Poggemiller, Culture Reporter and unicorn enthusiast

10. Top 10 Films of 2007 by Dylan Ferguson — While I do not agree with what Dylan says, I will defend to the death his right to say it.

9. Top 10 Britney Spears moments in 2007 by Romer Bautista — Gutsy topics make my list.

8. Top 10 People of 2007 who should be culled from our species by William O’Donnell — Will is on this list simply for having the best title, and because he cared little enough to spell Britney Spears’ name wrong in his original draft.

7. Top 10 Knobs in the World of Sports by Romer Bautista - Romer makes the lists twice because, in this list, I have actually heard of the people he mentions.

6. Top 10 Beefs and Bouquets of 2007 by Kevin Doole and Karen Asher — For sheer madness.

5. Top 11 Manitoba-released albums of 2008 by Tessa Vanderhart, benevolent editor-in-chief — Only the almighty editor can get away with putting 11 things in a 10-item list.

4. Top 10 Canadian Music Albums of 2007 by Ajitpaul Mangat - Thanks to Ajitpaul, when someone asks me if I’ve heard of Venetian Snares, I can say “Yes.” Now when someone asks me if I’ve heard their music, I can still say “No, but I’ve heard of them.”

3. Top 10 Political News of 2007 by Chelse McKee — Obama > Bhutto? Pure hilarity.

2. Top 10 things I read and heard people say in 2007 by Brendan Christopher Cathcart — Bennett Carlton Poggemiller approves of this witty, longer-than-most, features-style list.

1. Top 10 Top 10 Manitoban lists of 2007 by Ben Poggemiller — This priceless timesaver will spare you the agony of reading every single list in this issue by informing you of the Top 10. A real gem.

Train Wrecks
Jacqueline Hogue, Copy Editor

There are some things in life that deserve attention. Then there are those things that are like watching car accidents, you’re not really involved but you can’t help but stop and stare with your eyes peeled wide open. From trashy to tragedy, here are the Top 10 waste-of-brain-space celebrity stories of 2007:

10. Pamela Anderson files for divorce after less than three months of marriage. Her, um, fourth failed marriage. Well, third “real” marriage.

9. Lindsey Lohan on drugs. Did I need to see these photos? Not really.

8. Young Hollywood girls all get arrested for DUI charges. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and Mischa Barton all made news for their idiocy. Really, why should you care?

7. “They tried to make me go to rehab,” croons Amy Winehouse. Here was a sad case of life imitating art. Winehouse was in and out of rehab for drug addictions this year. Additionally, the photos of her and husband Blake Fielder-Civil bruised after various fights made for more material in celebrity-dirt rags.

6. Nicole Richie gets pregnant. All right, the girl obviously needed to gain some weight. Pregnancy is one way to do so.

5. Anna Nicole Smith dies. Sad, but didn’t really affect most of the general population’s lives.

4. Miss Teen USA contestant Caitlin Upton makes a fool out of herself for millions to see. Oh, YouTube.com. Upton’s answer to the question, “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the United States on a world map. Why do you that this is?” was entertaining, yes, but relevant (and coherent)? Uh, well, you see, like and uh . . . no!

3. Akon throws a 15-year-old fan off stage and the fan crushes a woman who suffers a concussion as a result. This was hilarious . . . well, aside from the injury. But even after hearing this news, my life went on as usual, as I’m pretty sure yours did, too.

2. Paris Hilton goes to jail and we hear daily updates and what kind of food she must eat. Seriously, who cares? Unless you are her or actually know her, you shouldn’t. Hilton even did an (what I considered lengthy) interview with Larry King on Larry King Live after her release. Aw, she wants to make a difference in the world now, how cute. Let’s see if she actually follows through.

1. Any story with the words “Britney” or “Spears” in it. Britney goes bald. Britney goes crazy. Britney puts out a generic single. Britney’s kid sister gets pregnant. Britney’s mom is a bad parent. Britney Spears was the ultimate did-not-affect-our-lives-but-somehow-we-couldn’t-look-away celebrity of 2007. Congrats, Brit, you win. Now make some new and interesting music or go away.

Celebrity ego trips
Nick MacMahon, Arts Ediutor

Stephen Colbert — Follow in Cohen’s footsteps and abandon this drawn out character.
Glen Beck — A recovering alcoholic, turned millionaire Mormon, who loves McGriddles.
Why do I know so much about this charmer and nothing about his show?
Corey Feldman and Corey Haim — If they pretend to be gay, they may get another couple of seasons, but that route didn’t seem to do much for Adam Sandler.
Jay Leno — Was Jay Leno striking for higher wages?
George Stroumboulopoulos (honourable Canadian mention) — As any PhD can attest, spouting statistics and foreign capitals and at an indecipherable speed is very impressive.
Will Smith — You’re no legend! Your kids have already out egoed you! Have fun with puberty.
Daniel Baldwin — Famous last name plus drug and rehab expert equals some brief eye contact with Larry King.
Oprah — Devote female practitioners everywhere; attendance is strong.
Bono — Devote female practitioners everywhere; attendance is strong.
Spice Girls — You barely made the headlines.

Things I read and heard people say
Brendan Christopher Cathcart, Features Editor

In a pamphlet for The Art of Living Foundation, the first benefit cited for taking their Youth Empowerment Seminar was: “Keener obersvation.”
A headline on Tuesday, Aug. 14, for the Montreal Gazette read: “Body Found in Wing Used as Halfway House for Substance Abusers.”
While sitting at a table in City Place a bonkers lady wearing five layers of green clothing walked up and said, “Hey, look.” She pulled out a small timer, held it in the air and said, “The lawyer said it’s gotta be one minute, so here’s a speech: I still say Elvis was the best. Even though they put him down and called the White House to ask for his pardon, he stuck it out and came back. So I say, hey man, don’t put Elvis in a chair. Fifty-eight, 59, one minute!” Then she placed the beeping timer on my table and walked away.
Sitting on a bench in Allen Gardens Park in Toronto, I was watching some street merchants selling totally random items. To the sales pitch of “White leather jacket!” a skinny, thin haired lady with crooked glasses who was intrigued by the hot item, walked up and said, “Was this coat’s lady a slut? ‘Cause I don’t want no slut’s clothing.”
While riding the subway in Toronto I saw this heartfelt message from the Provincial Government of Ontario posted inside one of the cars. “Your hands can share soft touches, warm embraces, and Salmonela.”
On the train in between Winnipeg and Toronto a 26-year-old guy in track pants started hitting on some 15-year-old girls in the observation car where I was sitting. Flirty banter ensued, one girl asks if she can punch him in the stomach, he agrees, she does it. Then out came this gem: “If you wanna hit someone, hit ’em right here, in the solar plexis. Yeah, I took some Jiu Jitsu a while ago.”
Stretching my legs for 10 minutes in a very small town in Ontario called Capreol, a shirtless guy with beer in hand drove up to me, pointed with his thumb to the two girls in the backseat and slurred, “Hey, you wanna come party? These girls are dykes.”
At the Belleville train station, a chubby balding guy wearing aviator sunglasses and a black silk shirt with flames on it tried to sell me a book he’d self-published. “I’ve got a new edition coming out soon. Hey, you know Gordon Lightfoot? Well, I sent him a copy of my book and asked him to tell me what he thought about it, you know, give me a review. Any day now, probably in the next few weeks, I should be getting it from him. That’s going to be at the end of the book, so I hope he sends it, otherwise I’ll have to write that Gordon Lightfoot didn’t give me his review, and that won’t look very good for him.”
Walking around Halifax I met a guy named Brad that talked about Newfoundland, swarmings, geography, nicotene’s effects on the brain and his own personal metaphysics. He was starting to seem a bit schizophrenic. I asked him about where he thought animals fit into his ideas of universal consciousness. He responded, “Last night I had a dream that I was falling and I screamed out, ‘Isn’t there anyone that can help me fall slower?’ And then I came to a dead stop.” I’m pretty sure he was schizophrenic.
On Friday, Aug. 31, an article in the sports section of USA Today began like this: “The USA’s Tyson Gay came from behind to win the Men’s 200 meters at the World Track and Field Championships Thursday, setting a meet record in 19.76 seconds.”

People of 2007 who should be culled from our species
William O’Donnell, Arts Reporter

10. Whoever is responsible for keeping Family Circus published (my money is on Satan).

9. Brittany Spears (world’s richest white trash mom).

8. Cast of The Hills (unnecessary blondage).

7. CNN’s Nancy Grace (the fact that this ignoramus spawned this year terrifies me).

6. Zack and Cody from The Suite Life (shit-eating grins and kids don’t mix).

5. Roses are Red (token “emo” band to represent the annoying lot).

4. Three-quarters of the people on youtube whose videos start with “me singing . . .” (or maybe just half of youtube posters for good measure).

3. Chris Simon (Neanderthal-ish hockey thug).

2. Most all “retired” musicians who put out an album this year (50 Cent goes first).

1. Carson Daly (douched-up New Years broadcast amongst other things).

Political news
Chelse McKee, News Editor

10. Iraq/Afghanistan

9. Two-term Russian president, Vladamir Putin, endorses Dmitry Medvedev for presidency, which will ensure Putin the prime minister position if Medvedev’s elected.

8. Iranian president’s visit to Columbia University.

7. British prime minister, Tony Blair, announces retirement

6. The Saffron protests of monks in Burma.

5. Africa’s inter-country wars.

4. Assassination of former Pakistani prime minister, Benazir Bhutto.

3. Barack Obama announces run for presidency.

2. Kenyan political strife after the December elections.

1. Pakistani President General Pervez Musharraf announces emergency rule.

Beefs and Bouquets
Kevin Doole and Karen Asher, staff

BOUQUET- mandarin oranges.
BEEF- Embarrassing basement loners who cover popular songs on Youtube.com.
BOUQUET- Youtube enraged comment battles.
BEEF- Annoying bluetooth phone chatterers.
BOUQUET- Stupid bluetooth phone chatterers who make themselves look crazy.
BEEF- Unflushed university toilets/urinals.
BOUQUET- Boggle: the three-minute word search game.
BEEF- Celebrity gossip
BOUQUET- St. Vincent’s Academy Diaries.
BEEF- Talking loudly on cellphones in bathrooms.

Knobs in the world of sports
Romer Bautista, Sports Editor

10. Isiah Thomas — His many executive decisions have crippled the once-proud New York Knicks franchise.

9. Chris Simon — Was suspended for 25 games in March for a slash to an opponents face, then was suspended for 30 more in December for stepping on an opponentís leg with his skate.

8. Bobby Petrino — Signed a five-year contract with the Atlanta Falcons, and then resigned before completing one full season.

7. Roger Clemens — The most prominent name to be accused of steroid use in the Mitchell Report.

6. Marion Jones — Forfeited her five medals from the 2000 Olympics, after she admitted to steroid use.

5. Barry Bonds — Broke the home-run record, but was then indicted on perjury and obstruction of justice charges.

4. Tim Donaghy — Admitted to betting on and fixing games that he officiated.

3. Adam (Pacman) Jones — Suspended for one season for making it ain in a Vegas strip club.

2. Chris Benoit — Took three lives (his wifeís, his sonís, and his own) in a double murder-suicide.

1. Michael Vick — Made a very stupid decision, and is now paying the consequences.





Volume 95 Issue 17	The Official University of Manitoba Students' Newspaper Website	January 09, 2008

Home About Us Advertising Rates Contact Staff Current Issue PDF Employment Letters to the Editor Meet the Staff Online Archives Volunteer Online Classifieds St. Vincent's Academy Diaries	Font Size Respond Email Print-Friendly Top Tens of Two Thousand and Seven! While Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzah, Eid al-Adha, Winter Solstice, Festivus, Bodhi Day, World AIDS Day, and the last day of class have all come and gone, the true yearly season of joy has finally reached its pinnacle: it’s the Manitoban Top 10s of the year, in this case 2007. Please peruse, please enthuse, please find something you like; merry top 10s to all, and to all a good night! Songs of the Year Michael Elves, Program Co-ordinator for UMFM 10. Dawn Landes – “Young Folks” Everyone knows the Peter, Bjorn, and John version, but Landes completely reinvents it as bluegrass with her cover version. 09. The Mohawk Lodge – “Wear ‘Em Out” This scorcher is one of the reasons people need to listen to British Columbia’s White Whale Records. 08. Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova – “Falling Slowly / When Your Mind’s Made Up” Both of these come from the soundtrack to the film “Once.” If you like amazing music and good movies, you absolutely need to go rent it. 07. Mark Davis – “She Floated Away” Davis, of roots group Old Reliable, turns in a haunting cover of this Hüsker Dü song from one of his two great records released in 2007. 06. The Weakerthans – “Civil Twilight” The lead-off track to Reunion Tour, this one’s been performed live for many a year but has finally been laid to tape. Bus drivers dreaming about golfing – quintessential Winnipeg. 05. Quantic Soul Orchestra – “Melodious Wayfarer” I’m incredibly jealous of Will Holland – the dude is crazy prolific and with each project he taps into new grooves and finds the funk. The horn lines on this song are killer. 04. Jens Lekman – “The Opposite of Hallelujah” Another song that’s been around for awhile before finally landing on an album – this mildly morose song is dressed up as blissful pop. 03. Voxtrot – “Kid Gloves” After some very promising EPs, I was a little underwhelmed by their self-titled LP, but this song kicked my ass on first listen and has continued to do so with each repeated listen. 02. Maria Taylor – “A Good Start” The song title is incredibly accurate – Taylor’s leadoff track is a very catchy tune and had me pressing the << button on the iPod repeatedly. 01. Graham Isaacson – “What’s The Point” Isaacson’s album (which was good) nearly made my top albums list – had it done so it would have been on the back of this song. It’s the perfect pairing of lyrical sentiment and singer’s voice: ragged, heartbroken, beleaguered, with a trace of hope. Albums of the Year Jared McKetiak, Station Manager for UMFM Okkervil River — The Stage Names The Sea and Cake — Everybody Battles — Mirrored Bill Callahan — Woke up on a Whaleheart Burial — Untrue Ghostface Killah — The Big Doe Rehab Deerhunter — Cryptograms Band of Horses — Cease to Begin Page France — Page France and the Family Telephone Western States — Western States Albums out of Manitoba Tessa Vanderhart, Editor-in-Chief 11. Anthem Red — Demos for Germans 10. Tigerrr Beat — Tigerrr Beat Ö KILL! EP 9. Pip Skid — The Pip Donahue EP 8. The Consumer Goods — Happy Bidet 7. Hide Your Daughters — The Teen Girl’s Guide to Social Success 6. Boats — Intercontinental Champion 5. Christine Fellows — Nevertheless 4. The Western States — The Western States 3. The Paperbacks — An Illusion Against Death 2. Nathan — Key Principles 1. The Weakerthans — Reunion Tour Canadian albums Ajitpaul Mangat, Sports Reporter Caribou — Andorra CD Wintersleep — Welcome To The Night Sky Besnard Lakes — The Besnard Lakes Are The Dark Horse Trouble Andrew — Trouble Andrew Kevin Drew — Spirit IfÖ Miracle Fortress — Five Roses Venetian Snares — My Downfall Feist — The Reminder Stars — In Our Bedroom After The War Holy Fuck — LP Myspace musicians Ted Barker, staff This list, in no particular order, documents musicians and bands I have stumbled across on Myspace.com in 2007. Most of these artists you won’t find in stores and many don’t even have full releases out, but each one, I feel, deserves recognition and deserves to be checked out. Alessi - London, U.K. http://www.myspace.com/alessimusic Indie / Folk. I ordered her Bedroom Bound EP and it came in an envelope decorated in stars. Inside, the CD was tucked in a hand-sewn cloth bag with a personal note. Perfect. Alela Diane - Nevada City, U.S. http://www.myspace.com/alelamusic Folk / Acoustic / Indie. Beautiful and haunting. I’d say someone to keep an eye on. Johnny Flynn and the Sussex Wit - London, U.K. http://www.myspace.com/johnnyflynn Country / Blues / Folk. Think upbeat folk with an English accent. Crystal Castles - Toronto - http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles 8 Bit / Electronica. Maybe we’ve all heard of CC by now, but I’m listing them on my Myspace list because it’s damn near impossible to get ahold of a record. I ordered one like a year ago! A year!! Ghost Bees - Halifax - http://www.myspace.com/ghostbees Indie / Folk / Shoegaze. I had the pleasure of seeing these two not long ago here in Winnipeg. They promised to come back, so keep your ears open. Hurray for the riff raff - New Orleans, U.S. http://www.myspace.com/hurrayfortheriffraff Folk / Blues. Grimey ol’ folk music. Grimey in a good way. O’death - New York, U.S. http://www.myspace.com/odeath Folk / Bluegrass / Punk. Punk Bluegrass. Can’t picture it? It’s fucking amazing. The Dodos - San Francisco, U.S. http://www.myspace.com/mericlong Indie / Folk / Experimental. “Beware of the Maniacs,” although a 2006 release, was one of my favourite albums this year. Coal Beautiere - California, US. http://www.myspace.com/coalbeautiere Acousmatic / Tape music / Showtunes / Indie. Quiet and pretty. Postmortem Panty Raiders - Winnipeg. http://www.myspace.com/postmortempantyraiders Grindcore / Crunk / Grime. Disgusting local grindgore, and who doesn’t like disgusting metal? Albums of the Year Joel Trenaman, Volunteer Staff Armchair Apocrypha - Andrew Bird In Rainbows - Radiohead Sky Blue Sky - Wilco Drums and Guns - Low We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank - Modest Mouse Reunion Tour - The Weakerthans New Moon - Elliott Smith Fables - Immaculate Machine Boxer - The National An Illusion Against Death - The Paperbacks Films of the year Dylan Ferguson, Volunteer Staff In a very specific and definitive order: Sharks 3D in Imax Sharks. 3D. Of all the sea’s beasts, of all the visible dimensions, this combination just spells, “righteous.” Why must we complain about the sorry state of narrative film, when the medium offers other, more spectacular, thrilling, jellyfish-laden possibilities? Inland Empire Other more eager (and less professional) film critics may have included the new David Lynch on their list last year, but I waited until I could actually see it. I now have, and I remain speechless. Grindhouse “Spectacle” is the theme for my top third, and Grindhouse, in its original, ill-fated three-hour-plus form, certainly fit the bill – though, in retrospect, it was little more than a launching pad for what may be Tarantino’s best-ever movie. No Country for Old Men If I had a haircut like Javier Bardem’s, I’d want to party. Not kill. 2 Days in Paris Adam Goldberg and Julie Delpy make me want to cry. I like them. Into Great Silence Conspicuously absent from this “monk-umentary”: scenes of the Carthusians brewing and getting wasted off Chartreuse. “Who’s down for dos Chartreuse?” Anybody? No?” Zodiac David Fincher’s masterpiece. What, Fight Club? Fuck off. Eastern Promises Sentimental value. I have heard of this. King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters A documentary about the titans of the Donkey Kong arcade game. I’ll let that hook you. We Own the Night Best car chase since The French Connection. Overrated films Chelse McKee, News Editor 10. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End 9. Atonement 8. Across the Universe 7. Enchanted 6. Sweeney Todd 5. Catch and Release 4. Shrek the Third 3. Bee Movie 2. The Nanny Diaries 1. The Simpsons Movie Britney Spears moments Romer Bautista, Sports Editor 10. Jan. 9 — Ties Paris Hilton for top-spot on Mr. Blackwell’s 47th annual Worst Dressed list. 9. July 19 — Is said to have displayed erratic behaviour during a photo shoot with OK! Magazine, which included using a toilet without closing the bathroom door. 8. Sept. 30 — Her management team and divorce lawyer both drop her as a client. 7. Feb. 23 — Attacked photographers with an umbrella. 6. Oct. 30 — Her fifth studio album Blackout is released. It debuts at No. 2 on the billboard pop album charts, behind the Eagles’ Long Road to Eden. 5. Feb. 20 — Britney checks into, then out of, then back into rehab. 4. Sept. 9 — Britney delivers a memorable (or forgettable) performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. 3. Sept. 10 — Super-fan Chris Crocker posts a YouTube video crying for everyone to “Leave Britney alone!” 2. Oct. 1 — Britney is court-ordered to surrender custody of her two sons to ex-husband K-Fed. 1. Feb. 16 — Britney shaves her head bald at a salon in Tarzana, Cal.. Top 10 Manitoban Top 10 lists Ben Poggemiller, Culture Reporter and unicorn enthusiast 10. Top 10 Films of 2007 by Dylan Ferguson — While I do not agree with what Dylan says, I will defend to the death his right to say it. 9. Top 10 Britney Spears moments in 2007 by Romer Bautista — Gutsy topics make my list. 8. Top 10 People of 2007 who should be culled from our species by William O’Donnell — Will is on this list simply for having the best title, and because he cared little enough to spell Britney Spears’ name wrong in his original draft. 7. Top 10 Knobs in the World of Sports by Romer Bautista - Romer makes the lists twice because, in this list, I have actually heard of the people he mentions. 6. Top 10 Beefs and Bouquets of 2007 by Kevin Doole and Karen Asher — For sheer madness. 5. Top 11 Manitoba-released albums of 2008 by Tessa Vanderhart, benevolent editor-in-chief — Only the almighty editor can get away with putting 11 things in a 10-item list. 4. Top 10 Canadian Music Albums of 2007 by Ajitpaul Mangat - Thanks to Ajitpaul, when someone asks me if I’ve heard of Venetian Snares, I can say “Yes.” Now when someone asks me if I’ve heard their music, I can still say “No, but I’ve heard of them.” 3. Top 10 Political News of 2007 by Chelse McKee — Obama > Bhutto? Pure hilarity. 2. Top 10 things I read and heard people say in 2007 by Brendan Christopher Cathcart — Bennett Carlton Poggemiller approves of this witty, longer-than-most, features-style list. 1. Top 10 Top 10 Manitoban lists of 2007 by Ben Poggemiller — This priceless timesaver will spare you the agony of reading every single list in this issue by informing you of the Top 10. A real gem. Train Wrecks Jacqueline Hogue, Copy Editor There are some things in life that deserve attention. Then there are those things that are like watching car accidents, you’re not really involved but you can’t help but stop and stare with your eyes peeled wide open. From trashy to tragedy, here are the Top 10 waste-of-brain-space celebrity stories of 2007: 10. Pamela Anderson files for divorce after less than three months of marriage. Her, um, fourth failed marriage. Well, third “real” marriage. 9. Lindsey Lohan on drugs. Did I need to see these photos? Not really. 8. Young Hollywood girls all get arrested for DUI charges. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and Mischa Barton all made news for their idiocy. Really, why should you care? 7. “They tried to make me go to rehab,” croons Amy Winehouse. Here was a sad case of life imitating art. Winehouse was in and out of rehab for drug addictions this year. Additionally, the photos of her and husband Blake Fielder-Civil bruised after various fights made for more material in celebrity-dirt rags. 6. Nicole Richie gets pregnant. All right, the girl obviously needed to gain some weight. Pregnancy is one way to do so. 5. Anna Nicole Smith dies. Sad, but didn’t really affect most of the general population’s lives. 4. Miss Teen USA contestant Caitlin Upton makes a fool out of herself for millions to see. Oh, YouTube.com. Upton’s answer to the question, “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the United States on a world map. Why do you that this is?” was entertaining, yes, but relevant (and coherent)? Uh, well, you see, like and uh . . . no! 3. Akon throws a 15-year-old fan off stage and the fan crushes a woman who suffers a concussion as a result. This was hilarious . . . well, aside from the injury. But even after hearing this news, my life went on as usual, as I’m pretty sure yours did, too. 2. Paris Hilton goes to jail and we hear daily updates and what kind of food she must eat. Seriously, who cares? Unless you are her or actually know her, you shouldn’t. Hilton even did an (what I considered lengthy) interview with Larry King on Larry King Live after her release. Aw, she wants to make a difference in the world now, how cute. Let’s see if she actually follows through. 1. Any story with the words “Britney” or “Spears” in it. Britney goes bald. Britney goes crazy. Britney puts out a generic single. Britney’s kid sister gets pregnant. Britney’s mom is a bad parent. Britney Spears was the ultimate did-not-affect-our-lives-but-somehow-we-couldn’t-look-away celebrity of 2007. Congrats, Brit, you win. Now make some new and interesting music or go away. Celebrity ego trips Nick MacMahon, Arts Ediutor Stephen Colbert — Follow in Cohen’s footsteps and abandon this drawn out character. Glen Beck — A recovering alcoholic, turned millionaire Mormon, who loves McGriddles. Why do I know so much about this charmer and nothing about his show? Corey Feldman and Corey Haim — If they pretend to be gay, they may get another couple of seasons, but that route didn’t seem to do much for Adam Sandler. Jay Leno — Was Jay Leno striking for higher wages? George Stroumboulopoulos (honourable Canadian mention) — As any PhD can attest, spouting statistics and foreign capitals and at an indecipherable speed is very impressive. Will Smith — You’re no legend! Your kids have already out egoed you! Have fun with puberty. Daniel Baldwin — Famous last name plus drug and rehab expert equals some brief eye contact with Larry King. Oprah — Devote female practitioners everywhere; attendance is strong. Bono — Devote female practitioners everywhere; attendance is strong. Spice Girls — You barely made the headlines. Things I read and heard people say Brendan Christopher Cathcart, Features Editor In a pamphlet for The Art of Living Foundation, the first benefit cited for taking their Youth Empowerment Seminar was: “Keener obersvation.” A headline on Tuesday, Aug. 14, for the Montreal Gazette read: “Body Found in Wing Used as Halfway House for Substance Abusers.” While sitting at a table in City Place a bonkers lady wearing five layers of green clothing walked up and said, “Hey, look.” She pulled out a small timer, held it in the air and said, “The lawyer said it’s gotta be one minute, so here’s a speech: I still say Elvis was the best. Even though they put him down and called the White House to ask for his pardon, he stuck it out and came back. So I say, hey man, don’t put Elvis in a chair. Fifty-eight, 59, one minute!” Then she placed the beeping timer on my table and walked away. Sitting on a bench in Allen Gardens Park in Toronto, I was watching some street merchants selling totally random items. To the sales pitch of “White leather jacket!” a skinny, thin haired lady with crooked glasses who was intrigued by the hot item, walked up and said, “Was this coat’s lady a slut? ‘Cause I don’t want no slut’s clothing.” While riding the subway in Toronto I saw this heartfelt message from the Provincial Government of Ontario posted inside one of the cars. “Your hands can share soft touches, warm embraces, and Salmonela.” On the train in between Winnipeg and Toronto a 26-year-old guy in track pants started hitting on some 15-year-old girls in the observation car where I was sitting. Flirty banter ensued, one girl asks if she can punch him in the stomach, he agrees, she does it. Then out came this gem: “If you wanna hit someone, hit ’em right here, in the solar plexis. Yeah, I took some Jiu Jitsu a while ago.” Stretching my legs for 10 minutes in a very small town in Ontario called Capreol, a shirtless guy with beer in hand drove up to me, pointed with his thumb to the two girls in the backseat and slurred, “Hey, you wanna come party? These girls are dykes.” At the Belleville train station, a chubby balding guy wearing aviator sunglasses and a black silk shirt with flames on it tried to sell me a book he’d self-published. “I’ve got a new edition coming out soon. Hey, you know Gordon Lightfoot? Well, I sent him a copy of my book and asked him to tell me what he thought about it, you know, give me a review. Any day now, probably in the next few weeks, I should be getting it from him. That’s going to be at the end of the book, so I hope he sends it, otherwise I’ll have to write that Gordon Lightfoot didn’t give me his review, and that won’t look very good for him.” Walking around Halifax I met a guy named Brad that talked about Newfoundland, swarmings, geography, nicotene’s effects on the brain and his own personal metaphysics. He was starting to seem a bit schizophrenic. I asked him about where he thought animals fit into his ideas of universal consciousness. He responded, “Last night I had a dream that I was falling and I screamed out, ‘Isn’t there anyone that can help me fall slower?’ And then I came to a dead stop.” I’m pretty sure he was schizophrenic. On Friday, Aug. 31, an article in the sports section of USA Today began like this: “The USA’s Tyson Gay came from behind to win the Men’s 200 meters at the World Track and Field Championships Thursday, setting a meet record in 19.76 seconds.” People of 2007 who should be culled from our species William O’Donnell, Arts Reporter 10. Whoever is responsible for keeping Family Circus published (my money is on Satan). 9. Brittany Spears (world’s richest white trash mom). 8. Cast of The Hills (unnecessary blondage). 7. CNN’s Nancy Grace (the fact that this ignoramus spawned this year terrifies me). 6. Zack and Cody from The Suite Life (shit-eating grins and kids don’t mix). 5. Roses are Red (token “emo” band to represent the annoying lot). 4. Three-quarters of the people on youtube whose videos start with “me singing . . .” (or maybe just half of youtube posters for good measure). 3. Chris Simon (Neanderthal-ish hockey thug). 2. Most all “retired” musicians who put out an album this year (50 Cent goes first). 1. Carson Daly (douched-up New Years broadcast amongst other things). Political news Chelse McKee, News Editor 10. Iraq/Afghanistan 9. Two-term Russian president, Vladamir Putin, endorses Dmitry Medvedev for presidency, which will ensure Putin the prime minister position if Medvedev’s elected. 8. Iranian president’s visit to Columbia University. 7. British prime minister, Tony Blair, announces retirement 6. The Saffron protests of monks in Burma. 5. Africa’s inter-country wars. 4. Assassination of former Pakistani prime minister, Benazir Bhutto. 3. Barack Obama announces run for presidency. 2. Kenyan political strife after the December elections. 1. Pakistani President General Pervez Musharraf announces emergency rule. Beefs and Bouquets Kevin Doole and Karen Asher, staff BOUQUET- mandarin oranges. BEEF- Embarrassing basement loners who cover popular songs on Youtube.com. BOUQUET- Youtube enraged comment battles. BEEF- Annoying bluetooth phone chatterers. BOUQUET- Stupid bluetooth phone chatterers who make themselves look crazy. BEEF- Unflushed university toilets/urinals. BOUQUET- Boggle: the three-minute word search game. BEEF- Celebrity gossip BOUQUET- St. Vincent’s Academy Diaries. BEEF- Talking loudly on cellphones in bathrooms. Knobs in the world of sports Romer Bautista, Sports Editor 10. Isiah Thomas — His many executive decisions have crippled the once-proud New York Knicks franchise. 9. Chris Simon — Was suspended for 25 games in March for a slash to an opponents face, then was suspended for 30 more in December for stepping on an opponentís leg with his skate. 8. Bobby Petrino — Signed a five-year contract with the Atlanta Falcons, and then resigned before completing one full season. 7. Roger Clemens — The most prominent name to be accused of steroid use in the Mitchell Report. 6. Marion Jones — Forfeited her five medals from the 2000 Olympics, after she admitted to steroid use. 5. Barry Bonds — Broke the home-run record, but was then indicted on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. 4. Tim Donaghy — Admitted to betting on and fixing games that he officiated. 3. Adam (Pacman) Jones — Suspended for one season for making it ain in a Vegas strip club. 2. Chris Benoit — Took three lives (his wifeís, his sonís, and his own) in a double murder-suicide. 1. Michael Vick — Made a very stupid decision, and is now paying the consequences.


Terms of Use RSS Feeds © Copyright 2008 The Manitoban Newspaper Publications Corporation