Ace reporter interviews Kevin Smith
But inane procedure diminishes potency of reporter’s hard-hitting questions
TIMOTHY BROWN ACE REPORTER
PHOTO: COURTESY OF ALLIANCE ATLANTIS
This past Friday, I got to interview director Kevin Smith, sort of. You know Kevin Smith. Well, you know his films: Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, and Clerks 2. Most of them were funny, most were a good time. Well, Clerks 2 is now coming out on DVD (gasp in shock, amazement, disbelief) and with such a monumental event taking place, Kevin Smith has been doing interviews for promotion. Can you picture it? Kevin Smith’s words raining down like deadly manna upon innocent journalists unprepared for the verbal onslaught, screams of horror as their ears start to bleed and locusts burst forth from their bodies, ushering in a new age, a dark age, the apocalypse.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite like that. The interview that I took part in, however, was still ludicrous. It wasn’t Kevin Smith and what he said that was what made the interview so absurd, but rather the procedure of the interview and the guidelines that had to be followed. First, I had to submit my three questions one day in advance to the person who would be moderating the interview, then, on the day of, I had to call in and wait for 15 minutes along with six other journalists for Kevin Smith to pick up on the other end.
When it came time for the actual interview, we were allowed to pick one question to ask Kevin Smith and he, in turn, would be allowed three minutes to respond. To top it off, we, the interviewers, the journalists, weren’t even allowed to physically ask the questions. The moderator handled this arduous task for us. Occasionally we would say something along the lines of “OK” or make some sort of noise that essentially meant the same thing, with the exception of one journalist who constantly praised Kevin Smith whenever he could find the room to quickly blurt something out.
As for what Kevin Smith actually said in the interview, I don’t have enough room to fit the entire conversation, so I’ll just give you the highlights. Smith covered a wide range of topics, even referring to himself at one point as a “very masturbatory writer.” When talking about how Clerks 2 compared to the original, he said, “It doesn’t aspire to be more than Clerks, it just aspires to be another chapter in Dante and Randall’s life.”
Now, a lot of fans of the first movie were skeptical about the release of a sequel. Many thought that the first one was so good that it should be left alone. Smith’s thoughts about the Clerks movie were a little different, feeling, essentially, that the first Clerks isn’t sacred enough to be left untouched. He feels the same about all of his work, asking this question: “I don’t believe many things are very sacred and why would I treat one of my films as such if I don’t treat anything else as such?”
Now, I know what you’ve really been wondering: Did Kevin Smith talk about the Clerks 2 DVD? Why, yes he did! Good question, reader. Let’s see what he had to say. “I like making DVDs, fuck making films . . . but in order for people to treat your DVD seriously, you have to go [the] theatrical route first . . . On the DVD, you get to draw back the curtain and show them how it all happened . . . It stands as the ultimate final record.”
The final question of the interview was also probably the most hardhitting, questioning the future of the characters Jay and Silent Bob. Said Smith, “restoring them to their place in front of the Quick Stop at the end of Clerks 2 feels like a nice way to go out with them.” So, if any of you kids are looking forward to another Jay and Silent Bob movie, best not hold your breath. In the meantime, you can probably just go out and get the DVD (shameless plug).
