Words that stink

AMY REDEKOPP

ILLUSTRATION TED BARKER

I like to watch people. I go down to my favorite shopping centre, grab myself a steaming latte garnished with sweet whipped cream and delicate chocolate curls, find a nice secluded bench (preferably flanked with greenery), and get ready for an afternoon of free, live, quality reality TV.

My subject of interest on that particular afternoon was a girl in her early 20s. She was dressed impeccably; I imagine that her cashmere sweater, designer skinny jeans, and leather knee-high, fur-trimmed boots could feed a university student for a month. With her shining, golden curly hair and twinkling blue eyes, she moved gracefully and conducted herself with pose and professionalism.

That is, until she opened her mouth. Out of those full, perfectly peach-painted lips spewed the most vile, unattractive phrase of the 21st century: “I am getting shit-faced tonight.” The girl’s beauty diminished instantly and her features became plain and unremarkable.

I have nothing against drinking. The problem of this case is the terminology in question: “shit-faced.” Say the words, feel them roll off of your tongue, and watch the reaction of those around you. Do they grimace? Do they give you a strained, wavering smile? Do their eyes dart over your shoulder to stare impatiently at the ever-so-slow ticking clock? Maybe they suddenly bolt from the conversation to stop from gagging.

If there are two words in the English language that definitely don’t belong together, they are “shit” and “face.” First of all, I don’t understand why one would want to put them together. When I think of BM (to be used interchangeably with “shit” for the sake of not sounding crude) there are no positive, warm childhood memories that come to mind. Simply, it just stinks. I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want to see it, and I for sure don’t want to smell it. Don’t bring it into daily, routine conversation; leave it in the bathroom where it belongs. And please, please, PLEASE do not associate it with something that is supposed to reflect beauty.

Inebriated. Intoxicated. Tipsy. Maybe even just “We are going to the pub tonight for some drinks.” Say whatever you wish when you are behind closed doors with your friends, but please refrain from bringing it into public. We are all in university to develop and enhance our professional careers. Practice professionalism in the public; you never know if your future boss will be listening.

And please don’t even get me started on being “the shit.”





Volume 94 Issue 14	The Official University of Manitoba Students' Newspaper Website	November 22, 2006

Home About Us Advertise Contact Staff Current Issue PDF Employment Letters to the Editor Meet the Staff Online Archives Personals Volunteer	Font Size Respond Email Print-Friendly Words that stink AMY REDEKOPP ILLUSTRATION TED BARKER I like to watch people. I go down to my favorite shopping centre, grab myself a steaming latte garnished with sweet whipped cream and delicate chocolate curls, find a nice secluded bench (preferably flanked with greenery), and get ready for an afternoon of free, live, quality reality TV. My subject of interest on that particular afternoon was a girl in her early 20s. She was dressed impeccably; I imagine that her cashmere sweater, designer skinny jeans, and leather knee-high, fur-trimmed boots could feed a university student for a month. With her shining, golden curly hair and twinkling blue eyes, she moved gracefully and conducted herself with pose and professionalism. That is, until she opened her mouth. Out of those full, perfectly peach-painted lips spewed the most vile, unattractive phrase of the 21st century: “I am getting shit-faced tonight.” The girl’s beauty diminished instantly and her features became plain and unremarkable. I have nothing against drinking. The problem of this case is the terminology in question: “shit-faced.” Say the words, feel them roll off of your tongue, and watch the reaction of those around you. Do they grimace? Do they give you a strained, wavering smile? Do their eyes dart over your shoulder to stare impatiently at the ever-so-slow ticking clock? Maybe they suddenly bolt from the conversation to stop from gagging. If there are two words in the English language that definitely don’t belong together, they are “shit” and “face.” First of all, I don’t understand why one would want to put them together. When I think of BM (to be used interchangeably with “shit” for the sake of not sounding crude) there are no positive, warm childhood memories that come to mind. Simply, it just stinks. I don’t want to hear about it, I don’t want to see it, and I for sure don’t want to smell it. Don’t bring it into daily, routine conversation; leave it in the bathroom where it belongs. And please, please, PLEASE do not associate it with something that is supposed to reflect beauty. Inebriated. Intoxicated. Tipsy. Maybe even just “We are going to the pub tonight for some drinks.” Say whatever you wish when you are behind closed doors with your friends, but please refrain from bringing it into public. We are all in university to develop and enhance our professional careers. Practice professionalism in the public; you never know if your future boss will be listening. And please don’t even get me started on being “the shit.”


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