Vinyl dreams

Talkin’ bout my generation

ARI HANSON

Sadly, the above dialogue was not taken from a Saturday Night Live script, nor is it a futuristic vision of a post-nuclear society filled with caffeine-addicted halfwits hellbent on trend domination. Believe it or not, it’s actually something a lot scarier than that — Generation Y. Not only have modern corporations transformed most of us into mindless trend followers, but our willingness to go “electronic” has really denoted our most serious downward spiral as of late, namely, the slow shift from our traditional audio format, vinyl, to cassette, to CD, and now the newest “more efficient” medium, MP3. While it might look good on paper (no pun intended), this

slow departure is really deteriorating music as we know it.

But why? If MP3s and CDs are better quality, easier to store, and much more user-friendly, why would anyone in their right mind prefer vinyl? Unlike most of the symbols of Gen Y, records have an emotional quality about them that CDs and MP3s never could. And I’m not talking about that unused tab of acid you found tucked into the liner notes of your dad’s Jefferson Airplane LP. While digital audio might sound technically perfect, vinyl’s biggest appeal is the realistic tone that the imperfections in the recording bring out, in the form of whimsical pops and gargles. It makes you feel like you’re actually there, watching Jimi Hendrix along with 50,000 fellow unbathed hippies at Woodstock, sitting in the smoky New York jazz club with a drunken Tom Waits in the corner singing about drugs, pimps, and whores — as compared to being strapped into a straitjacket in a tiny white room without a single outof- the-ordinary sight, sound, or smell to speak of. Granted, the same slight random hissing noise could probably be accomplished today just by not editing most Top 40 acts’ voice tracks in the mixing room (Ashley Simpson, anyone?). But I digress.

Not only does vinyl bring listeners closer to the music, but it also brings the music closer to them. As quick and efficient as ITunes may be, liner notes definitely aren’t part of the deal. Without comments from the artist and, most importantly, the lyric sheet that most every LP provides, actually reading your favorite band’s lyrics becomes very inconvenient if not impossible. So for anything with words that might be otherwise thoughtprovoking or inspiring, the listeners of today are simply left wondering. To quote the unmistakable Mr. T., I pity the fool who spends their hard-earned money on an ITunes download of Bob Dylan’s new album. Brilliant they may be, but the man’s songs can be indecipherable even with the help of written lyrics. I mean, come on — without liner notes, how else are we ever going to find out just what Fergie’s planning on doing with her humps? The suspense is killing me.

Although vinyl’s biggest downside is its lack of convenience, the fact that records can’t be taken in the car, out for a run, or covertly into class also adds a lot to their appeal. Since you pretty well need to be at home and sitting in one room to play a record, it usually becomes more than just background music. Instead, you’re consciously listening to the music. Screw multitasking; it’s overrated anyway. Suddenly, listening to a favorite album becomes an experience rather than just another diversion to keep our over-stimulated, Ritalincorrected personalities from getting too bored while already surfing the Net, doing homework, IMing, and talking on the phone all at the same time. Why do you think there haven’t been any really “era-defining” iconic albums produced in the last decade or so? On second thought, don’t answer that. Nevertheless, it’s pretty clear that vinyl is the most rich and satisfying musical atmosphere of the bunch.

But if vinyl is so great, why don’t we all use it? The answer comes right back to who we are: Gen Y. Like so many other things crafted specifically for us, the entertainment industry has dumbed-down music in an attempt to condition us to accept lower standards (this also explains how Lindsay Lohan’s foray into the music scene actually charted, but that’s another article entirely). Not only is selling music electronically a lot cheaper than actually having to press LPs, but it’s also an easier medium to use, taking the “lowest common denominator” down one more notch in an effort to sell to more and more people. So, what can you do? Well, the simple answer is listen to more vinyl. Of course it won’t really change anything since the masses consume whatever’s fed to them by an industry and that isn’t bound to change anytime soon. But personally, I think I’ll stick with “My Generation.” I’d take Roger Daltrey’s over this one any day of the week.