Is your refrigerator runing?
The long lost art of the prank phone call
MELISSA HIEBERT STAFF
I’m sure everyone has both made a prank phone call and received a prank phone call sometime in their life. Of course, call display and *69 make it all the more difficult these days, but it’s just more of a challenge that way. There’s just something so invigorating about making prank phone calls. The moment of anticipation as you dial; holding your breath and your giggles in while it rings, and then finally the moment of satisfaction of hearing the response of the person on the line, whether it is indifference, blinding rage, or an equally witty reply. And of course, the copious amounts of laughter that ensues once you hang up.
The possibilities for pranks are endless. There’s the classic “is your refrigerator running?” prank, to the infamous “you kicked my dog!” skit, which involves someone in an incomprehensible accent yelling at someone for kicking their dog for 15 minutes straight, to the other person’s complete bewilderment. The Simpsons helped in part to keep the spirit of prank phone calls alive by featuring Bart making dozens of phone calls to Moe’s tavern, asking for anyone from Bea O’Problem to Mike Rotch (tee hee, crotch). Also, the show Crank- Yankers recently featured Muppetstyle puppets making funny phone calls to unsuspecting victims.
Allegedly, a radio station in Miami, Radio El Zol, called Hugo Chavez, pretending to be Fidel Castro, and then proceeded to call Castro, claiming to be Chavez. Naturally, both leaders were not impressed and the radio station got fined. Other people that have allegedly been pranked include Queen Elizabeth II and countless celebrities.
Naturally, I couldn’t write an article about prank phone calls without making one myself. So I sat in my office, amidst a bunch of out-oftowners who were in Winnipeg for a conference that we were hosting (what a way to make a good impression), and started to dial. (Yes, this is where your student fees go: to pay me to sit at my desk and eat crackers and make ridiculous prank phone calls to random businesses.) The conversation went something like this:
Bootlegger: Good afternoon Bootlegger, where no sale is ever final, how may I help you?
Manitoban: Hi, I recently stole a shirt and the dye tag is still on it, is there any way that you guys can take it off for me?
B: Um, hold on a second (passes phone to manager).
B: Hello?
M: Hi, I recently took a shirt and it still has the dye tag on it, and I was wondering if you guys could take it off for me?
B: Sure, you just have to bring in the shirt with the receipt and we will take it off for you.
M: I don’t have the receipt though . . .
B: Uh . . .
M: Because I stole it.
B: (Scoffs) You stole it?
M: But not from you guys. (Under breath) Yes . . . that will do nicely. B: (Scoffs again) Uh . . . sorry, I don’t think I can help you.
M: Are you sure? Can’t I just bring it in and you guys can take it off with one of those machines you have? It would take like, five seconds.
B: No, sorry. (Then, a stroke of revelation) Actually, yeah . . . you can bring it in. (Ooh, sneaky.)
M: Really? Thank you guys so much! You guys are great. See you later!
B: Yeah, bye.
Of course, I could barely muster the dialogue without bursting out laughing. I have never been one for making prank phone calls. I always end up snickering uncontrollably, and then just hanging up. The best prankcallers are the ones that can maintain perfect composure and a grave level of seriousness as they spew out the most ridiculous dialogue heard by man.
Though prank phone calls have faded out, I don’t think they will fade away anytime soon. Prank phone calls require planning, superb acting abilities, and a quick wit. The surge of adrenaline, followed by the satisfaction of a perfectly executed discourse and an equally random and hilarious response is a lot more clever and satisfying than filming someone shoving Hot Wheels cars up their ass.
