Free time
BEN POGGEMILLER STAFF
-Power on-
“Tonight on the 6 o’clock news: A suicide bomb in Iraq kills 20.
Three Canadians were —”
-Flip-
“I lost seven pounds in only three weeks and it was so —”
-Flip-
“Her head was found 300 km from her body. This is going to be a tough
case to solve, Timmy.”
-Flip-
“That’s right Marlene; you have a chance to win $5,000!”
-Flip-
“I thought that was your sister!”
*laugh track*
-Flip-
“In other news, Stephen Harper has made it clear that he thinks drowning
kittens is wrong. The opposition feels it’s not the government’s
job to take sides on this —”
-Flip-
“I lost 18 pounds in only two weeks and —”
-Flip-
“—boyfriend said he didn’t kill her. Let’s question
the —”
-Flip-
“Marlene . . . you could win $10,000. It could all be yours.”
-Flip-
“Well I hope you’re happy, young man, your sister’s hair
isn’t going to grow back.” *laugh
track*
-Flip-
“The results of the election are in. We now go live to campaign headquarters
where Mayor —”
-Flip-
“I didn’t even have to change my diet or lifestyle. I lost —”
-Flip“I don’t care if it’s against regulation. He killed
her!”
-Flip-
“$500,000, Marlene.”
-Flip-
“At least the house is still standing. Oh wait, no it’s not.”
*audience loses bladder control while laughing*
-Flip-
“— protesting to bring Canadian soldiers home after two more sold
—”
-Flip-
“— 45 pounds in six hours! You can too!”
-Flip-
“You went against regulation but you brought a criminal to —”
-Flip-
“You have a chance to win $1,000,000, Marlene.”
-Flip-
“He’s a dog; he’s supposed to smell bad.” *audience
dies laughing*
-Flip-
“— memorial service for fallen —”
-Flip-
“— 100 pounds —”
-Flip-
“— has been found guilty —”
-Flip-
“$2,000,000!”
-Flip-
“dead soliders —”
-Flip-
“victim”
-Flip-
*laugh track*
-Flip-
“Sorry you lost, Marlene.”
-Power off-
Goodnight.
