Unsung villains

Because sometimes second fiddle gets things done

BEN POGGEMILLER STAFF

ILLUSTRATION TED BARKER

Villains are an essential part of any adventure. A good villain will get a substantial amount of attention, and villains are frequently enjoyed more than the hero, due to the complexity of their characters. However, there is a group of bad guys that go largely unnoticed: the secondary villains. They often come in the form of the primary villain’s right-hand man, a specialized henchman, or a ruthless mercenary. They usually get dispatched by the hero in a manner more dignified than an ordinary henchman, but with less grandeur than the primary villain. Here is a tribute to some of the unsung baddies in popular culture.

Boba Fett Star Wars is chock-full of cool minor villains, but Boba Fett is by far the best. If you saw your father’s head get cut off by Samuel L. Jackson, you’d be bitter too. Fett is the best bounty hunter in the galaxy and his stylish Mandalorian armor is supplemented by his cold indifference and horribly impractical-looking ship, the Slave I. Boba Fett meets his end in the sarlacc pit on Tatooine, although in the extended universe he manages to escape to wreak more havoc on the galaxy.

General Grievous

Before Darth Vader, there was the original part-organic, partmachine being: General Grievous. Any alien who is part-machine, has a nagging cough, an Eastern European accent and can kill Jedi is worthy of mention. He can divide his arms into four parts and can wield a superfluous four lightsabers at one time. However, two of his arms must not perform very well, because Obiwan Kenobi cuts them off almost immediately. He also decides to put all of his organs in one basket, which is promptly shot to pieces by Kenobi minutes later.

The Nazgûl

Sauron may be the ultimate evil in Tolkien’s Middle-Earth, but the Nazgûl are the ones who do his dirty work. Their lack of a face makes them especially terrifying, and their scream hurts the ears worse than the highpitched noise the RIAA tried to flood file-sharing networks with. They are greed personified, and are eventually defeated when Frodo destroys the One Ring in Mount Doom. Some say they have re-emerged from the depths in the form of IBM’s lawyers.

The Merovingian

This smooth-talking, French-bychoice rogue program in The Matrix exudes style and swagger wherever he goes. He constantly holds information that others need, and he enjoys his leverage, almost too much. While he never engages in personal combat, he has a talent for survival, having outlasted the first five versions of The Matrix. Although his fate is ambiguous, he likely did not survive the sixth.

Meter readers

Small people with a small amount of power can be dangerous. From ticketing students who have a valid parking pass in an over-filled lot to ticketing students for taking up two spaces where no spaces are clearly defined, the meter-reader brigade is a ferocious faction hell-bent on creating revenue. Some of the scariest villains in history are the ones who perform their art purely out of fanaticism rather than monetary gain. Fun fact: parking enforcement officers haven’t been paid in decades but they keep reproducing and showing up! These characters deserve some pity however. In the brilliant Canadian mockumentary The Delicate Art of Parking, an interesting point is raised. The public would be far angrier if parking officers had the ability to make a judgment call. They don’t, however, so pull forward that extra six inches to fit between the parking meters. As an act of goodwill, we should appease them with Czechoslovakia.





Volume 94 Issue 9	The Official University of Manitoba Students' Newspaper Website	October 18, 2006

Home About Us Advertise Contact Staff Current Issue PDF Employment Letters to the Editor Meet the Staff Online Archives Personals Volunteer	Font Size Respond Email Print-Friendly Unsung villains Because sometimes second fiddle gets things done BEN POGGEMILLER STAFF ILLUSTRATION TED BARKER Villains are an essential part of any adventure. A good villain will get a substantial amount of attention, and villains are frequently enjoyed more than the hero, due to the complexity of their characters. However, there is a group of bad guys that go largely unnoticed: the secondary villains. They often come in the form of the primary villain’s right-hand man, a specialized henchman, or a ruthless mercenary. They usually get dispatched by the hero in a manner more dignified than an ordinary henchman, but with less grandeur than the primary villain. Here is a tribute to some of the unsung baddies in popular culture. Boba Fett Star Wars is chock-full of cool minor villains, but Boba Fett is by far the best. If you saw your father’s head get cut off by Samuel L. Jackson, you’d be bitter too. Fett is the best bounty hunter in the galaxy and his stylish Mandalorian armor is supplemented by his cold indifference and horribly impractical-looking ship, the Slave I. Boba Fett meets his end in the sarlacc pit on Tatooine, although in the extended universe he manages to escape to wreak more havoc on the galaxy. General Grievous Before Darth Vader, there was the original part-organic, partmachine being: General Grievous. Any alien who is part-machine, has a nagging cough, an Eastern European accent and can kill Jedi is worthy of mention. He can divide his arms into four parts and can wield a superfluous four lightsabers at one time. However, two of his arms must not perform very well, because Obiwan Kenobi cuts them off almost immediately. He also decides to put all of his organs in one basket, which is promptly shot to pieces by Kenobi minutes later. The Nazgûl Sauron may be the ultimate evil in Tolkien’s Middle-Earth, but the Nazgûl are the ones who do his dirty work. Their lack of a face makes them especially terrifying, and their scream hurts the ears worse than the highpitched noise the RIAA tried to flood file-sharing networks with. They are greed personified, and are eventually defeated when Frodo destroys the One Ring in Mount Doom. Some say they have re-emerged from the depths in the form of IBM’s lawyers. The Merovingian This smooth-talking, French-bychoice rogue program in The Matrix exudes style and swagger wherever he goes. He constantly holds information that others need, and he enjoys his leverage, almost too much. While he never engages in personal combat, he has a talent for survival, having outlasted the first five versions of The Matrix. Although his fate is ambiguous, he likely did not survive the sixth. Meter readers Small people with a small amount of power can be dangerous. From ticketing students who have a valid parking pass in an over-filled lot to ticketing students for taking up two spaces where no spaces are clearly defined, the meter-reader brigade is a ferocious faction hell-bent on creating revenue. Some of the scariest villains in history are the ones who perform their art purely out of fanaticism rather than monetary gain. Fun fact: parking enforcement officers haven’t been paid in decades but they keep reproducing and showing up! These characters deserve some pity however. In the brilliant Canadian mockumentary The Delicate Art of Parking, an interesting point is raised. The public would be far angrier if parking officers had the ability to make a judgment call. They don’t, however, so pull forward that extra six inches to fit between the parking meters. As an act of goodwill, we should appease them with Czechoslovakia.


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