Break away from bedroom boredom

MELISSA HIEBERT STAFF

Everyone needs a change in scenery once in a while. Also, no one can resist the thrill of getting it on in a public area. Here’s a look at some of the hottest, funnest, and most popular places to get it on.

The Beach

The beach is definitely a classic, for a reason. It can range from fairly tame (secluded beach) to moderate (off in the dunes) to downright dirty (in the middle of a crowded area). The beach also lends itself nicely to all sorts of role-playing, including being stranded on a deserted island with your dream girl/guy, or any and all Pirates of the Caribbean-based fantasies. You can take a sexy skinny dip first to set the mood, or simply roll around in the waves, letting the water act as another pair of caressing hands. It’s versatility and it’s timelessness make the beach a must-do.

Rating: 4.5 you-know-what’s up (Johnny Depp is hot).

Airplane bathroom

The airplane bathroom, while maybe a tad risqué, is way too predictable. It’s a overdone and lacks originality. Not to mention, it’s cramped and rushed and more of a chore that is performed just to say that you joined the mile high club rather than for actual enjoyment. Of course, if you’re on a 12-hour flight you might not be able to contain yourself, so by all means. Just make sure you’re doing it out of an uncontrollable desire rather than to fulfill some lame cliché or for bragging rights.

Rating: 2 (clichés are for losers.)

Swing set

Getting it on in a playground is a kinky play on sexy childhood fantasies (not unlike getting it on in your childhood bedroom). There’s something naughty about returning to a spot from your youth, and defiling it. Also, there’s nothing hotter than making love whilst literally feeling like you’re flying. Have the guy sit down first, and then have the girl sit on his lap facing him a la “butterfly swing.” You’ll find that once you start pumping (with your legs, that is) that you won’t have to do much else — the momentum will take care of everything for you. The harder you pump . . . well, the harder you will pump.

Rating: 4 (for the extra kinky, bring another person along to give you under-ducks.)

In the woods

The place we were intended to do it! There’s no better way to get in touch with nature than by rolling around in it. It’s definitely leaves one with a sense of sex as a natural part of life. Either that or it’s just another hidden place to have a quickie. Whatever the intensions, the smells and sounds of nature and the feeling of being in the great outdoors can be liberating. However, this one is not for the high maintenance, as you might be uncomfortable lying on a rock or a tree branch. Guys, just make sure it isn’t too cold or damp out, or you might also have a little bit of difficulty. Also, be watch out for hungry squirrels on the lookout for some nuts. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Rating: 3.5 (Guy: Aw fuck, I’m sitting on a stick.
    Girl: Hah yeah, well so am I!)

Elevator

A favourite from all of the best pornos. The best part is that there is enough room to do pretty much whatever the hell you want, and if you press the emergency control button in between floors there’s not a damn thing anyone else can do about it. You might piss off a few people who are patiently waiting for the elevator, but you know that they’d be doing the same if they were given the opportunity. This usually only works for a quickie though — a race to see which elevator will get to the top of the shaft first (okay, I’m done with the bad puns, promise).

Rating: 3 (For the exhibitionists out there, opt for a glass elevator.)