Resilience in the face of adversity
How to cope with disability
LARRY BAILLIE
Have you ever wondered how two or more people can experience exactly the same event at the same time, yet have different experiences? Many of us have heard of the saying about a glass being half-empty or half-full. How we view the glass of water is how one perceives life. For example, if you were involved in an accident, are you a victim or a survivor? If facing adversity, do you fight to overcome, or accept your challenges as given?
The Social Work Dictionary defines resiliency as a human capacity (individual, group, and/or community) to deal with crises, stresses, and normal experiences in an emotionally and physically healthy way: an effective coping style. As another year begins, many students will be faced with new challenges that demand resilience. You might be a first-year student fresh from high school or a person going back to school after years in the workforce. The change is very often overwhelming. Some would even say it can be very frightening. There is no need to fear, as my experience demonstrates.
In 1990, I was a 30-year-old salesman who was starting to think about a career change. I did not realize that in a split second my life would change forever. I sustained a brain injury in a car accident and lost the ability to walk. Here I was a 30-year-old workaholic, suddenly turned inactive. I was told by medical professionals with a note of finality that I would never return to work or school again! However, I made myself two promises: one was to run a marathon, when I learned how to walk again. Secondly, I would go back to school and work.
In 1996 I had rented my favorite movie, Rudy: a story about a football player who overcame odds despite living with dyslexia, to play football for the University of Notre Dame. The next day I went for a walk and when I came home, my son Kevin started saying that Rudy called. When I finally figured out the Rudy he was referring to was Charles Ruettiger from the movie Rudy, I explained to Kevin that people from movies did not just call. I was surprised five minutes later when the real Rudy called me. Rudy explained that a person had told him my story and he wanted me to submit a story on how I overcame my challenges. He published a book in 1997 with a chapter about me. It is called Rudy & Friends: Awesome and inspiring real-life stories of ordinary people overcoming extraordinary odds.
One of the things I have learned is that you have to believe in yourself before other people will believe in you. In researching brain injuries, I realized that the best recovery period is within two years post-injury. I was put on a rehabilitation waiting list at the Health Sciences Centre, to wait for what I was told would be at least two to five years. Since the waiting list was so long, I went out and hired my own rehabilitation team. Every day waiting for services meant one less day of recovery. I was determined to be a survivor of a brain injury rather than a victim of a car accident.
So 15 years after sustaining a brain injury, I applied to go back to school. My goal is to help others who sustain life-changing injuries or illnesses to overcome adversity and grow as individuals. I dwell on my strengths rather than my weaknesses, which has caused some problems, because of false perceptions about people who live with a disability. The rate of return to work or school for people living with a brain injury is 2.56 per cent, one of the lowest rates of all disabilities!
So, the journey I am facing as a university student with a supposedly debilitating disability is one that not many have travelled. One thing I have lived life by is that in order to grow in the future, one must learn from the past. Never be afraid to ask questions, since people experience life differently and we can all learn from others. I was once told by a friend that when you stop learning, you stop living. Finally, learn everything you can about your challenges and then learn about your body — what works and what does not — then become your own expert on overcoming your challenges. The journey has just begun.
Larry Baillie is a social work student of the University of Manitoba.
