President Obama brings world peace
BABATISE AYEKO’TO
After a tumultuous election, the junior senator from Illinois, Barak Obama is finally settling down to the business of the people. The first African-American to achieve the feat of occupying a house didactically (perhaps disingenuously) called “White” House, Obama’s reign is already recording landmark achievements. Who on earth could have imagined the terror of the West, Mahmud Ahmadinajab (you may need to ask for interpretation), would agree to put an end to his nuclear ambition. It was a splendid sight to behold Ahmadinajab speaking fluent English (described as “the language of prosperity” by Newt Gingrich, former U.S. House Speaker) at the dinner hosted by president Obama and Vice President Hillary Clinton to celebrate the end of the now famous “Clash of Civilizations” made popular by Samuel Huntington.
Ahmadinejab was there in full force with his British wife Faye Turney, one of the Royal Navy personnel captured by Iranian forces in March 2007. The two kept looking into each other’s eyes like teens in love. What a joy to behold! If hostage-taking keeps ending this way, who says conflict is dysfunctional?
King William of England was also there accompanied by his wife, the American singer Beyonce. His dance steps showed that his majesty had received enough tutorials from his wife. King William was also turning 30 days on the throne of William the Conqueror after his father Prince Charles of the Camilla fame abdicated the throne.
UN secretary general Ban Ki Moon used the occasion to propose a toast to the health of the Cuban president Fidel Castro. Dubbed “the cat with many lives,” Ban joked that Castro would probably be at the funeral of everyone at the dinner. Castro’s political god-son the eloquent Hugo Chavez whose knowledge of Marxism could make graduate students of political studies green with envy sat beside Castro like a son would attend to his father. Rumours are already emerging that Chavez could be Castro’s long lost son.
Chinese president Hu Jintao was also present with his personal buddy Kim Jung-il. They both addressed the august gathering and promised to work together to consolidate the world peace. Jung-il’s American wife, one of the Bush twins, Jenna was pleased to be back in the States after a brief absence. Asked by reporters if she partied in North Korea, she said she was too engrossed in her humanitarian projects to have time for such frivolities. Jung-il used the occasion to announce that his late father Kim Il-sung had ceased to be North Korea’s “Eternal President,” since Jenna was expecting a boy. Why give such a prestigious position to a dead man when the anointed family’s baby boy will arrive any minute?
Oprah Winfrey, who had only recently shut down her academy for girls in South Africa because of complaints made by some parents of the lucky girls that the discipline being enforced in the school was too rigorous, spoke of her intention to relocate the school to Baghdad, Iraq. Oprah received a huge dose of jokes from Bill Meher, the Canadian Prime Minister who graced the occasion as the only bachelor present. Meher was a star attraction of the night as everyone wondered how the miracle of his election took place.
Nigerian president Dora Akunyili showed the gathering that the intelligentsia had taken over Nigerian politics. Alongside her deputy, Pat Utomi, also a former university professor, the Nigerian delegation expressed the hope that nothing would allow world peace to be put in jeopardy again. Just as I was observing the rather late arrival of former president George Bush (Jr.), the lights suddenly went off at the White House. My phone began to ring. Oh! It’s all a dream.
Babatise Ayeko’to is chair of the African Union Initiative (AUI) for the eradication of poverty in North America.
