Sex can wait, until the first date

NICK MACMAHON VOLUNTEER STAFF

“Sex: Yes, please.”
— Austin Powers, a celebrated sex-maniac

There are many challenging questions facing young adults today: Will flirting with my professor help my GPA? Would the Church condone my passionate love affair with a 60-something guidance counselor? Should I be sleeping with anyone?

Pop culture attempts to paint an accurate picture of sex, namely through television and mainstream movies. If there is anything I have learned from movies, it’s a) that people have sex on the first date and b) that sometimes sex happens accidentally, lending itself to lines like “I was confused.” Music videos, on the other hand, have informed me that a staggering number of female backup dancers are embracing their bisexuality. Due to the influence of the media, many people have deemed sex the “religion for the 21st century.” Before we return to completely animalistic behavior, however, let’s look back to spiritual tradition to see if there is any reason to their rhyme.

Most Christian sects believe that sex outside of marriage is morally wrong. On the outset, abstinence may seem excessively puritanical, however many will argue that sex will lose its edge if it is treated like a new pair of jeans. Once you buy a new pair of jeans, you may want to wear them all the time, but you’ll run the risk of wearing them out too quickly. As soon as those jeans are too ragged, you buy a new pair. This could explain the soaring divorce rates and numerous short-lived relationships. If you abstain until marriage, the honeymoon may actually serve a purpose (cue Barry White), as opposed to “I’m going to Tahiti to hang out with my wife for the next few days.” Sex on the beach would be no different than your usual nine minutes of nasty. Putting off sex could forge a stronger emotional relationship; mutual respect and love will have had time to blossom, making sex that much more powerful when it happens. Like many spiritual groups, the Church believes that love and sex should not be separated, and marriage is the ultimate devotion of love.

Love and sex are becoming increasingly divided, largely in part to the development of the porn industry. It takes the “love” out of love-making, thereby reducing sex to a purely physical act. In a typical porno film, the storyline is intentionally unemotional and pathetic (from what I have heard . . . ), so that when the sex comes, it’s that much more intense. The emphasis is on the visuals, hence the marketing towards men, as men tend to masturbate more (or admit to it, anyway).

Many relationships are falling into the “life imitates art” category, as the flirtation period and initial dating are fast-forwarded; the main course is bypassed to make room for the indulgent dessert. The ends become more important than the means, and it should be no surprise when the spark is lost. Of course, the pro-porners will argue that porn will spice up your future sex life, keeps our sexual desires in check, and leads to the employment of both men and women who decided not to cross the line and resort to prostitution — getting paid to have sex. (Wait a minute . . . )

So, now it’s time to fasten our chastity belts, atone for our sexy sins, and commence self-flagellation (like the charming albino monk in The Da Vinci Code), right? Well like most controversial issues, it is wise (though often difficult) to hear out both sides, and I’m guessing that most people fall somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. The key is to understand why you’re having sex now as opposed to later. Re-evaluate your beliefs and make a conscious decision before blindly heeding Mr. Powers’ advice.