Which type of smoker are you?

MORGAN MODJESKI VOLUNTEER STAFF

As a gas jockey, I work constantly to provide people with the things they need, be it candy, gas, or cigarettes. And, as such, I play a different role to each individual customer. To gas customers, I am a friendly gas-pumping employee ready to wash your windows with a smile. To chocolate-bar consumers and chip-eaters, I am the provider of snacks and beverages. However, to cigarette customers, I am the only person standing in the way of them and their precious drug.

These customers come in hundreds, day by day, and they all want the same thing: tobacco. Of course, they all have a different brand in mind, but in the end it’s all the same shit rearranged in different boxes with different colours. However, I have noticed that many smokers that come in have similar traits, and fall into specific categories. Here are some of the more common ones.

Non-smokers — Though the majority of people who come to my store are usually smokers, there are a small minority of people that are not. Considering these people (surprisingly) do exist, they at least deserve a mention: and here it is.

Casual smokers — These people are the smokers who only smoke after having a few drinks, or the people who smoke for social reasons alone. These smokers can be seen buying packs of ultra-light cigarettes, usually smelling of liquor or beer. These types of smokers might not even be considered as such, because often these people are not actually addicted to the drug nicotine.

Friendly/excited smokers — A friendly smoker is a person who asks for cigarettes as if they were a kid asking for a candy. They usually drag on the name of the cigarette as if it were a big deal, and then make an even bigger deal when they actually receive the cigarettes. However, a friendly smoker can quickly turn into an angry smoker quickly if they are in a foul mood or if they are completely out of cigarettes.

Rushed smokers — These smokers don’t have time for anything. Getting their cigarettes is neither a joy nor a bother for them; it is simply a task that must be completed as quickly as possible. Smokers of this type can be seen with their money already counted out to exact change, and sometimes can be seen running or jogging to and from their cars.

Angry smokers — Angry smokers are the most common type of smoker. These people are usually in the heavy grip of a nicotine addiction. They come only to get their cigarettes, and if anyone has anything to say about it, there will be hell to pay. Suffering from a heavy nicotine addiction,

these people have no consideration for anyone who stands between them and their cigarettes. These smokers can be seen with their money already out, with an idea in their head about how the transaction will go, and if the transaction does not go over as planned, the scene goes to hell. They can also be seen yelling and shaking their fists in anger, usually at gas-service personnel. Note: any smoker is a potential angry smoker.

The “give me the smokes and money” smoker — These smokers are better known as robbers. These people come in to get their smokes, and have no intention of giving you any money for them; in fact, these smokers take money from you. These smokers seem like your average angry smoker at first, but that quickly changes once there is a knife being waved in your face.

Now these are just some of the many smokers that buy or don’t buy cigarettes. In the end, most smokers fall under one category, and that is the category of an addict.