Human rights abuses in the name of ‘Growing Up’
Changing the way kids view bullying
REBECCA COISH
Is bullying just “a part of growing up,” just “a stage that kids will grow out of,” or something necessary to “toughen kids up?” Whatever your response is, I encourage you to think about the following children: Gary Hansen, Dawn-Marie Wesley, Hamed Nasteh, Myles Neuts, Reena Virk, and Travis Sleeve. All are Canadians between the ages of 10 and 16 and all are dead as the result of bullying.
Dawn-Marie Wesley, 14, of Mission, B.C. (just east of Vancouver), hung herself with a dog leash in 2000 after constant bullying by three girls at school, according to a CBC report on bullying. Included in her suicide note was the following: “If I try to get help it will get worse. They are always looking for a new person to beat up and they are the toughest girls. If I ratted they would get suspended and there would be no stopping them. I love you all so much.” More recently, 16-year-old Gary Hansen hung himself in Roblin, Man., after persistent bullying at the local Goose Lake High School.
Children do not always kill themselves though — sometimes kids kill other kids. According to the CBC, “in February 1998, 10-year-old Myles Neuts was found hanging unconscious from a coat hook at an elementary school in Chatham, Ont.. He died four days later. A coroner’s inquest later revealed that Neuts was hung by two older boys who had waited for him in the washroom, suspended him from [a] coat hook as he slowly strangled, and brought friends to watch ‘the dummy,’ until one told a teacher.” Also, many will be familiar with the 1997 tragedy of Reena Virk, 14, who was beaten to death by schoolmates and left to drown.
Is death of children at the hands of other children “just a part of growing up?” Should actions that are contrary to the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights be permitted to go on day after day in our schools and on our playgrounds? Article 26 of the UN declaration states that “everyone has the right to education” and “Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms.” While many may have the right to an education, children who experience bullying are essentially denied this right. They may physically be in school, but how can a child concentrate on learning when they are worried about getting beaten up in the hallway after class, about getting put down on the way home from school, about having vicious rumours posted about them on the Internet and spread around the school, about everyone ignoring that they exist, or about how they should kill themselves to escape their daily torment? How can a child truly have a right to an education when they cry at home every night for hours, worrying about what happened to them that day at school, worrying about what will happen to them the next day at school?
The most important thing for everyone — parents, friends, teachers, and principals — to do to alleviate bullying is to recognize that it is real. A stance that “bullying does not happen at our schools” or that “my child would never bully anyone” is simply not appropriate anymore. Schools need to actually implement the anti-bullying policies that they have adopted, and not just pay lip-service to them. Policies should be there to protect kids, not simply to prevent the school from being sued.
In what may be one of the biggest understatements since the beginning of humanity, humans tend to have a deplorable record when it comes to treating each other with respect: think genocide, domestic abuse, racism, sexism, and torture. Fortunately, we have also shown that society can change. Travel back only 100 years to 1907 in Manitoba. It would still be nine years before women could vote, and clearly now that is not an issue. While it is possible that bullying cannot be eliminated entirely, the first step to reducing it is to recognize that it exists and to take it seriously for the negative impact it can have on a child’s life. Many victims of bullying feel alone and ashamed, as if they are the only person who has ever gone through such an experience.
Rebecca Coish is chair of Amnesty International at the University of Manitoba and a fourth-year psychology student..
