The garage
Traffic schooled version 2.0:
Where is the love?
STEVE SILVA VOLUNTEER STAFF
Yes, it was a question that the once original, anti-commercial, and even moderately tolerable Black-Eyed Peas had asked in a hit single: “where is the love?” A good question — really now, where has it gone? Our roadways have become a battlefield, littered with automobile shrapnel and “eliminate inbreeding, ban country music” bumper stickers. Everywhere you look you see disgruntled drivers engaging in acts of road rage and quickly reaching for something to throw (like their Hockey Night in Canada commemorative pucks or mini hockey sticks).
Most alarming was people’s behaviour during the holiday season. Shopping mall parking lots turned into boxing rings; it was like watching a pay-per-view event, for free! As a Canadian, I was embarrassed to see a parent put down their cup of Tim Hortons coffee just so they could punch another parent in the face, and for what? So they could park closer to the mall entrance? Ah, ’twas the season. (I mean, holy crap people, those Bratz dolls weren’t going anywhere!)
Parking lot etiquette begins with the basics. First of all, if someone is waiting for a car to pull out and has his turn signal on, then that spot is his. I lost count of how many times I saw other drivers pull in front of a patiently waiting car, as they watched in horror.
Speaking of parking, don’t park your car at a 45-degree angle as if you were some kind of douche-bag! Would it really take so much time and effort to straighten out so other vehicles could also park in that parking lot? Oh, and you know those lines painted on the ground? Yeah, those aren’t there for post-modernist expressionism, they’re there to tell your self-absorbed ass where to park.
And that’s just the horrible behaviour that goes on in our parking lots; the roadways are even worse. Everywhere I turn, I see Winnipeggers cutting each other off left and right — spirited energy indeed. If you do happen to cut someone off, offer up a thank you wave, or at least an “I’m a dumbass” shoulder shrug in your rearview mirror. Also, if you see a car trying to merge into traffic, let them in; it’s just good karma. The roadways are a give and take. Driving in our city is a lot like a huge relationship; we’re all stuck with each other on the road, so we all might as well get along. Cambia, anyone?
I haven’t even mentioned the highways yet. Seriously people, if your not going to go at least 100 km/h, move your ass to the right lane. It’s not as if this is an unspoken rule — the roadsides are littered with signs that read, “SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT.” It’s extremely frustrating when people don’t follow the rules of the road. I can just feel the tumor in my brain growing when I’m driving behind a semi in the left lane and a Buick in the right who are both going 55 km/h on the Perimeter.
From here on in, we should all learn to check ourselves in traffic. As much I like a good rant about how stupid people can be, I don’t necessarily take pleasure in it. I don’t like seeing accidents on the roadways that result in injuries, or even worse, death. People are becoming increasingly reckless, and it needs to stop. As friendly Manitobans, many of us have lost our way. If someone gets out of his car yelling and screaming because you were driving like an idiot, don’t retaliate. Just offer them a donut, some of your coffee, and a hug; it might be all that person really needs.
