Procrasti nation
NICK MACMAHON
“What did you get?”
“I got an A+.”
“Really? You must have studied like mad.”
“Nah, not until the night before.”
“You’re a genius, friend.”
“I know, I know.”
“Make sweet love to me.”
We’re all specialists when it comes to vice. For some, it’s the euphoric after-meal smoke, for others it’s getting the doctor’s recommended daily intake of sugar and caffeine from Starbucks’ $20 white chocolate mocha. Sadly, I was once well acquainted with both of these. However, I’m not going to get preachy and single out those who smoke sugar or eat drugs, but rather look at our universal vice — procrastination.
Students declaring that straight As are the result of night-before studying are not Einsteins. Many are auditory learners who get more out of going to class, or they are simply trying to boost their own ego by posing as someone who never works hard. And most of us are gullible enough to buy into it. Hasn’t hard work been a virtue throughout human history? Why is it suddenly embarrassing?
Perhaps the answer stems from the fact that few people are willing to sacrifice precious hours out of their day studying, and therefore receive a B. It’s easier to study little and get a lousy mark and say, “I didn’t study enough. I could have got an A if I studied more.” However, this is just self-delusion at its finest. Only a handful of students actually put in the work necessary for the As and A+s. It isn’t worth trying to fool yourself into thinking that you’re a 4.0 student. It’s more beneficial to understand the ego-stroking you’re engaging in by procrastinating, and realize that it isn’t paying off in the long term.
Anyone who has seen the cult classic Office Space remembers the tagline “Work Sucks.” Well, what is hard work anyway? Psychologist Neil Fiore (author of the procrastination Bible — The Now Habit) did a study on grad students at the University of California. He found that students who procrastinated took many more years to finish their research than those who got down to it right away. Avoidance can make life downright unbearable, as you always feel like you’re working. You always have a long to-do list in the back of your mind, which never allows you to completely relax and enjoy guilt-free play, partying, or whatever floats your boat. In other words, procrastinating is the real work.
Fiore also claims that procrastination is born out of perfectionism, which leads to a fear of failure that causes one to procrastinate. It lowers your self-esteem, which makes you less confident and fearing failure even more, so the cycle repeats. The outward result: TV shows like Jackass and billions of other attention-seekers giggling in the family’s computer room, broadcasting their dignity away on YouTube.
Allow yourself to fail! Enjoy being laughed at — at least you’re taking a risk. Write a lousy essay if you have to, or go for a walk instead of the gym. Do something! The media perpetuates that we must be perfect in all areas of our lives, which can be suffocating. Just remember this: our lives of comfort are possible only because there are enough people who don’t have the option of hitting the snooze in the morning.
