The hallway hello

RACHEL WALTON

With the emergence of the bitter cold that characterizes the early months of the new year, many students find themselves forced to brave the dark underbelly of the university campus. This dark and winding labyrinth is more commonly referred to as “the tunnels.” While they offer a safe refuge from windburn and slippery sidewalks, the tunnels are home to an interesting and unique social challenge: the “hallway hello.”

The tunnels, composed of narrow hallways, manage to herd flocks of students into an enclosed space, increasing the chance of surprising and unexpected interactions with other students quite substantially. The hallway hello tends to occur while one is rushing to a class and walking at a higher-than-normal speed (just short of pushing others out of the way), and randomly happens to make eye contact with a “friend.” Friend is in distinct quotation marks because these are not the people you hang out with on a daily (or even weekly) basis. Instead, they are the people with whom you constantly make coffee plans that never seem to work out, and with whom intentions to get together more are often forgotten.

The hallway hello rarely happens with true friends, since they are either walking with you, waiting for you in class, or know that you are late for something and just give you the standard head nod, smile, or wave. However, if it is someone that you have not seen in a while (or even perhaps forgotten existed — hey, it happens), after initial eye contact (despite being late for class) a brief stop happens and small talk ensues. Seconds tick by as you become increasingly late for class, and inevitably you are forced to cut the conversation short, occasionally in a rude manner. Ironically enough, this conversation usually ends with a “call me, we should do coffee sometime.”

This situation can become even more perilous, especially when one does not want to associate with this so-called “friend” anymore. Such relationships include, but are not exclusive to, an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, an old coworker, a friend you had a falling out with, or the person you borrowed (and never returned) notes from in class. Fortunately, this disdain for a conversation is usually mutual, which results in a reciprocated avoidance of eye contact.

However, if the other person seems to want to initiate a conversation, this avoidance can be very awkward. Especially if you talk to this person later and they confront you with your obvious rude refusal to acknowledge their existence.

On a positive note, this interaction can actually be quite pleasant. It is particularly enjoyable when you have time to spare between classes (such as a long two-hour spare before an afternoon lab) to engage in a fulfilling catch-up conversation. This type of interaction brings with it another difficulty completely: your hallway hello has turned into a large blockade in the middle of a tunnel! This is very inconvenient for your fellow student walkers around you . . . especially those who are late and rushing to class. And in some stretches of the tunnel system, any type of blockade makes the trek to a late class that much more difficult.

I suppose that an obvious solution here is that one should simply refrain from taking the tunnels when running late for a class (or trying to avoid an irate ex-love). But alas, with the temperature dropping, students are becoming more and more willing to tackle the social challenge of the hallway hello (and showing up even later to class) rather than brave the cruel Winnipeg winter.