Wii porn isn't all it's cracked up to be
MELISSA HIEBERT STAFF
When I heard the news that porn was available for the Nintendo Wii, to tell you the truth, I was less than shocked. I mean, we had all thought about it, and it was only a matter of time before the faithful porn providers materialized our thoughts into actions, and of course, dollars.
For those of you who aren’t yet familiar with Nintendo’s latest console, the Nintendo Wii is a new system that features a wireless, remotelike controller with motion sensors. Basically, the gaming hardware differs from previous models in virtue of its interactivity. When you play Tennis, you actually have to get up and swing the remote. When you play Zelda, you use the control as if it were a real sword.
So you can imagine I was interested in what new version of interactive porn they had come up with this time. With a phallic-shaped controller complete with vibrating “rumble” feature, The list of potential uses goes on and on.
However, despite some of the hype it has received, I was surprised by the lack of creativity of this new, unexplored frontier of the porn industry. This “Wii porn” they speak of is merely the ability to browse the Internet and point-and-click on porn sites via the Wii remote control.
Talk about disappointment. Can you imagine the look of dismay on the poor sex-crazed-yet-socially inept teenager as he clutches to his interactive remote control (both of them) only to find that the new Wii porn is just the same as any regular old Internet filth?
Perhaps virtual-reality porn isn’t the best idea to begin with. Even though porno pics and videos are largely socially acceptable, and sometimes even championed, would you really want to be known around school as the loser who got it on with a video-game console?
Though I’m not sure how far we are off from virtual sexcapades. With every advance in technology, we seem to always manage to find a way to pervert it. Virtual porn just seems like the next logical step.
But alas, at the present moment, Wii porn is nothing more than an elaborated hype. Sorry to let down gamer nerds everywhere who dream of getting it on in virtual reality, or interactive RPGs that give you the ability to keep playing on at the end of Mario Bros. to see what happens after you save the princess, but apparently the technicians’ minds aren’t that far in the gutter (yet).
