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BEN POGGEMILLER STAFF
Being a Winnipegger, I was born with a sixth sense. Everyone born in Winnipeg has it. Whether we ignore it or succumb to it, we all have it. I’m discussing, of course, the cheapness sense. Important philosophers have asked meaningful questions such as “who are we?” and “why are we here?” whereas Winnipeggers ask “do I have to pay for parking?” and “how much?” Honestly, most of us will walk four kilometres just to avoid paying those swindlers $2 for a five-foot-wide space denoted by yellow lines.
Cheapness is an epidemic that has been prominent in our town for quite some time. It probably originated when struggling immigrant families came to Manitoba, barely scraping by, and refusing to pay to park their horses. Well it stuck. Now, everybody flocks to free popcorn night at the movie theatre and buy-one-get-onefree plastic combs.
The success of the lottery in Manitoba is an offshoot of this epidemic. During my short tenure at Red River Co-op, I sold countless lottery tickets to people who were convinced that they were going to win. Just the other day I saw an elderly man buying a Set For Life ticket. We’ll subscribe to anything if we have a chance to win.
There are people who will wait until their VCR has broken down dozens of times and the servicemen tell them they won’t repair it anymore before they even consider a DVD player. Some people will suffer through mind-numbing picture quality just because the video cables were cheaper. Some people will wait until they can’t use their computer for more than five minutes without it freezing before they will consider replacing it. Some people will say at the checkout that they don’t want light bulbs because they’re 30 cents more than advertised. People come home with an entire palette of sardines, just because they got a deal. People in Winnipeg want an NHL franchise, but they won’t support it financially. We want lower tuition fees but a better school. It never ends.
Winnipeggers are extremely generous in spite of our ingrained fickle nature, however. Life in Winnipeg is slow enough that people take time to appreciate what they have. We donate to charities and causes with enthusiasm. Sure we drive like jerks and don’t let people in our lane but there’s no price on human compassion. But if there was, you can bet we’d have a coupon for it.
