2007 predictions
One fan’s look at the year to come
Romer Bautista Staff
As I look back on the year that was in sports, the cliché “hindsight is 20/20” comes to mind. How hard would it have been to predict that a crazed-looking Frenchman would head-butt an Italian that talked too much, or that an American cyclist would test positive for a banned substance during the Tour de France? These seem like things that I could have told you would happen before the year began.
So, with that in mind, I have decided to do just that, and give you 2007’s biggest sports stories before they even happen. Show off and tell them to your friends, and you’ll see the look of amazement on their faces when these predictions come to fruition.
• After being selected first overall in the 2007 NBA draft, can’t-miss prospect Greg Oden will reveal to a national audience that he not only is 40 years of age, but he is also the biological father of superstar LeBron James.
• New York Islanders owner Charles Wang will make history once again when he signs his equipment manager to an unprecedented 25-year, $40-million contract.
• Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron’s all-time home-run record. Then, in his most surprising move of all, Bonds will immediately retire from baseball, citing that he is disgusted with the amount of steroid use in the sport.
• At age 45, Roger Clemens, after another impressive stint with the New York Yankees, will win his eighth Cy Young Award, becoming the oldest player to ever win the award. The off-season awards won’t end there for Clemens, however, as days later he becomes the youngest recipient of the Geriatric Ward Softball Tournament MVP Award.
• Missing the playoffs for third straight year does not sit well with Kevin Garnett, as he finally snaps. As the Houston Rockets are being presented the Larry O’Brien Trophy, Garnett will appear out of nowhere and completely annihilate Yao Ming.
• Barbaro will make a miracle comeback and win the first leg of horse racing’s Triple Crown, the Kentucky Derby. Unfortunately, the horse’s win will be surrounded by controversy when Barbaro’s jockey tests positive for performance-enhancing drugs.
• Another dark cloud will hang over the NBA, as yet another one of its players is indicted for his gang affiliation and thuggery. The name of that player: Matt Bonner. Says Bonner after the incident, “They don’t call me the Red Rocket for nothing, fool.”
• In a playoff series that saves the NHL, Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins face off against Alexander Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals. However, as ordered by Commissioner Bettman, the teams are only allowed to play each superstar, in what ultimately becomes the greatest one-on-one show ever.
• Following the success of George Mason the previous year, two mid-major teams will give the NCAA tournament its highest ratings ever, when the two “Cinderella” teams meet in the finals. Live from the Georgia Dome, it’s Oral Roberts versus Loyola!!!
• After another terrific season by LaDainian Tomlinson continues to take the limelight away from Terrell Owens, the wide receiver will decide to take his off-field antics one step further. Instead of faking a suicide attempt, Owens will do the unthinkable, and fake his own death. He will reappear months later, as if nothing happened.
• The Cincinnati Bengals will improve from their 2006 season, when they finished 8-8 and fell just short of the playoffs. The Bengals will still miss the playoffs, but they will break the record for number of players arrested in one year, with a mind-boggling 15 players being arrested over the course of the year. Chris Henry will lead the team with six arrests.
