Walking in a Winkler wonderland

Pembina Valley a hotbed for tourists

Susan Collins

The Globe and Mail recently ran a travel article on a serious dilemma facing many Canadians — the great “ski vs. beach” spring-break debate. Now, I know that life isn’t always easy, but just imagine having to make a choice like that. How could you possibly decide? For those of you out there who aren’t worrying about where to vacation, take heart: there’s plenty of fun to be had in your own backyard. At least, that’s what people kept telling me, and I was determined to find out.

So, I packed up my car with some friends, some good tunes and a healthy sense of the absurd, and set off across the frigid prairies in search of a good time. So dust off your dancing shoes, kids, and then put them right back on the shelf, because you won’t need them where we’re going: Manitoba’s magical Pembina Valley.

When most Winnipeggers think of the Pembina Valley they think of Mennonites, farming and roadside billboards proclaiming the virtues of chastity. But the region has so much more to offer. For starters, it’s home to the world’s biggest pumpkin, the largest collection of marine vertebrate fossils in Canada and a seven-and-a-half-story tall easel supporting a giant reproduction of Van Gogh’s Sunflowers. What more could you ask for?

First stop: Carman

Although Carman is not officially on the “Mennonite Trail” promulgated by the Pembina Valley Visitors’ Guide, it makes for a good stop all the same. Carman is cute; there are a number of interesting shops and restaurants, and some attractive older buildings, which is more than you can say for some of its neighbours.

Next stop: Roland

If you’re a fan of jumbo-sized objects on the side of a highway, then you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Roland’s pumpkin. But wait, this isn’t some novelty pumpkin; it’s the real thing! Roland is home to the Guinness Book of World Records’ entry for the largest pumpkin, grown by Edgar Van Wyck in 1977. The super-sized pumpkin can be seen as you enter the town, and it’s the actual size of the record-holder.

What can you say about Winkler?

Winkler is a dry city (read: no alcohol), and it’s been voted one of the top 20 communities in which to live in Canada by 50Plus Magazine. With a combination like that, it’s impossible to resist Winkler’s allure. Or so it would seem, because it’s one of Manitoba’s fastest (and only) growing rural communities. Most Winnipeggers I asked had been to Winker, “but not since forever.” Well, this isn’t your grandmother’s Winkler (though she’d probably still like it).

I was disappointed to discover that the Threshermen’s Museum, the one site I was looking forward to visiting in Winkler, was closed for winter. I suppose that threshing, the process of separating grains from straw, is not a winter activity, but still, it would have been fun. I guess that means that I’ll have to come back in the summer.

Morden, oh my sweet Morden

Morden will always hold a special place in my heart as the site of my first-ever chili cook-off. By a fabulous stroke of luck, our arrival in Morden happened to correspond with the Morden Winter Festival! We saw ice sculptures, witnessed a Rockwell-esque outdoor curling match and wiener roast, and tried eight different kinds of chili — all that, plus the Pembina Hills Art Gallery, the Manitoba Baseball Hall of Fame and the Morden Museum.

The Morden Recreation Centre is home to the Baseball Hall of Fame, the museum and, get this, the only McDonalds located in a recreation centre in all of Canada. The hall of fame is small but worth a look. The museum, however, should not be missed. The Morden Museum contains the largest collection of marine vertebrate fossils in Canada. But it’s not just fossils. For reasons unknown to the author, the museum contains several display cases devoted to guns, nunchuks and brass knuckles. There is also a display about brick laying, and a seemingly random assortment of objects containing bentonite, a clay substance used in soaps and as a binding agent in animal feed.

But by far the most entertaining part of the museum was the “creationism vs. evolution” display. Only in Morden — you need to see it to believe it.

Gretna and Plum Coulee

As far as I’m concerned, Gretna and Plum Coulee are both ghost towns. We didn’t see a single person on the street. This might have had something to do with the temperature, but even the stores were closed.

Altona

The Pembina Valley Visitors’ Guide claims that Altona is home to a “vibrant arts community.” We found no evidence to support this claim. However, Altona does have the “World’s Largest Painting on an Easel,” or so they claim. In a world of giant nickels and massive Ukrainian Easter eggs, it was only a matter of time before someone decided to build a seven-and-a-half-story tall easel to support a giant reproduction of Van Gogh’s Sunflowers. After all, Altona is Canada’s sunflower capital.

But believe it or not, this is not the only giant reproduction of Sunflowers in existence. Altona’s twin-city, Emerald, Australia, also boasts a giant Van Gogh. Interestingly, Altona and Emerald both claim that theirs is the largest painting on an easel in the world. But what’s even more bizarre: there are five more super-sized paintings planned for other towns around the world. Well, at least Altona will still be home to one of the top seven largest paintings on an easel in the world, although that just doesn’t have the same ring.

Our synopsis

There are worse places in the world to be than the Pembina Valley. But, unless you’re into snowmobiling and farmers’ sausage, don’t let anyone tell you that it’s a four-season destination, because that would be lying, and that’s not the Menno way.