Books

When Will Jesus
bring the pork chops?
By George Carlin
Hyperion Books

Matt Lane The Argosy
(Mount Allison University)

SACKVILLE, N.B. (CUP) — George Carlin, Mr. Conductor, has fired off his latest 300 pages of ruthless but rootless skepticism and rhetorical comedy. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? is witty, well-contrived, extensive and truthful, but it just isn’t funny.

Perhaps the malformed sentences, all-capital phrases, mismatched fonts and overall random order interfere with how seriously the reader can take his somewhat dry humour, although these same techniques once amplified the comic appeal of his work. His excessive swearing has lost its bite and many of Carlin’s rants go on too long to keep the reader interested in their marginally comical subjects.

Once famous for his “Seven Words You Can Never Use on Television” skit, Carlin’s career in comedy has spanned more than three decades. His latest book, however, has too much focus on language. His focus on society’s overuse of euphemisms is truthful and well thought out but overanalysed in every respect. Perhaps Jerry Seinfeld exhausted the comedic effect of English clichés and expressions, or perhaps an old man swearing in print just doesn’t have the same shock effect as it used to. Either way, North Americans have heard too much about the weather, outdated politics, and death in recent comedy.

Napalm and Silly Putty and Brain Droppings, two of Carlin’s earlier books, were more attached to the ins and outs of society. Carlin used his words to paint hilarious and often grotesque scenes. These were appallingly funny but still within an arm’s reach of believability.

The book’s title, mocking the double-millennium wait for the second course of our cosmic meal, highlights perhaps the most comical part of the book: his brute and often rash cynicism towards organized religion and supernatural beliefs.

Certain gems still make the book a pleasant late-night read, like, “If you vote once, you’re considered a good citizen. If you vote twice, you face four years in jail.” Still, others, such as, “If a safe is unlocked, is it still a safe?” fall short, even when imagined being said by George’s throaty, shouting voice.

Perhaps one of the most irritating aspects of the new book is the layout. The text may have well been cut up by a four-year-old and pasted randomly to a piece of construction paper before seeing a typewriter, and the font is about as consistent as Cher’s hairstyle.

Carlin’s old tendency to depict people, situations and places in a verbose and colourful manner has faded to overgeneralizations of everyday situations, lacking the abundant similes and metaphors of Dennis Miller. Some subjects — like war and armies, medicine, the Bible, and a sketch of some offensive uncles — mine an untapped comedic resource. They entertain not only for their pure shock, but also for their ability to be humorously shaped with the changing times. His “Bits and Bites” section of the book, as usual, provides the highest laugh-to-word ratio.

Unfortunately, if you split the book like a deck of cards, chances are you’ll draw an extended rant on euphemisms or political jargon, most at which we can laugh at 7 a.m. with a bagel and CNN.

If you got When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops? as a gift, put it in the bathroom. That way it will still be humourous every time you put it down. If you really like to get into your comedy, Bob Hope’s a little fresher, and just as disorganized.