Pink Panther has a clue!
Movie ‘update’ showcases trademark Clouseau gags
Ryan Hladun Volunteer Staff
“A woman is like an artichoke — you have to do a bit of work before you get to her heart.” Steve Martin delivers this line as Inspector Clouseau in his update of The Pink Panther. Fitting, because the movie is also much like an artichoke — you have to sit through some bad jokes and Beyoncé Knowles before you can get to more than enough funny moments and a few trademark Clouseau gags that would make even Peter Sellers smirk just a bit.
The past 12 months have seen a vicious attack on loyal moviegoers by Hollywood studios, with a barrage of crappy remakes, most of which we’ve all flushed out of our memories (remember Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke? Sorry). And just when we’ve been nearly beaten into submission (with studios wondering where the box office slump is coming from), they bring back a six-film franchise that was milked for every last joke in the ’70s, with a comedian, in Martin, who is arguably past his prime. But, hey, it was funny then, so surely it’s funny now, right? Well, luckily it is . . . most of it.
For those who have been, for some reason, depraved of the hilarity that are the Blake Edwards’ Pink Panther movies, they starred the irreplaceable Peter Sellers as a bumbling French inspector who stumbles through crime-solving escapades with Austin Powers-like slapstick comedy. In Steve Martin’s ‘update’ (the producers were insistent that it’s not a ‘remake’), Clouseau tries to solve the case of the missing Pink Panther diamond and the murder of its owner, a French soccer coach (played by Jason Statham).
Martin does justice to the role. There is no denying his comic ability, and the movie has its laugh-out-loud moments. One scene has Clouseau trying to learn American English, frustrating his accent coach by mispronouncing the word ‘hamburger.’
And a few of the trademark Clouseau-isms are there. One of the funniest running gags in the Sellers’ films is when Clouseau’s assistant, Cato ,is instructed to attack him at a random moment. Martin brings it back, funny as ever, this time with Clouseau as the random attacker on his assistant, Ponton, played by Jean Reno. Speaking of Reno (yes the bulky, soft-spoken Frenchman from The Professional), one scene has him dirty dancing in a pink leotard.
And of course, Chief Inspector Dreyfus makes the transition from the classics to this film (with Kevin Kline doing a fine job taking over from Herbert Lom), as Clouseau’s superior who always gets the painful and mostly hilarious end of the inspector’s incompetence.
But as mentioned, there are those duds that make you turn your head and cough rather than chuckle. There’s a running gag in the movie where cyclists are constantly getting flipped over as a result of Clouseau’s clumsiness. Maybe it’s somehow a knock on the Tour de France, but it’s simply not funny. Then there are lame fart jokes, and of course, what would a modern comedy be without sex jokes? Panther’s are mainly hit and miss.
Then there’s Beyoncé. There are those who say Beyoncé Knowles doesn’t belong on any piece of film longer than a five-minute music video. She literally serves no purpose here as the victim’s lover and a suspect in his murder, and thankfully takes up little screen time (far less than in Goldmember). Unfortunately, she does sing, and not long enough for a bathroom break, either.
The movie is still funny enough to deserve a look, though — certainly by fans of the old movies (if you don’t try and hold this one up to them) and fans of movies like Austin Powers and Naked Gun. Yeah, so, Hollywood gets one right. You know what that means — a whole new slate of remakes around the corner.
