Metal 101
Turn your head from dead to lead in 3 easy steps
Jeanne Frönda Staff
Trying to feel like you belong in the heavy metal world is pretty intimidating
for those who don’t know the difference between Pushead and Vic Rattlehead.
You can’t just walk around wearing a Slayer T-shirt, clutching the latest
copy of Metal Edge forever and not expect a seasoned metalhead to approach
you and ask you what you really think of “throwing the goat” these
days.
But even if you’re not sure if you’re ready to immerse yourself
in the headbanging world of metal, here are three quick pointers on how to
feel a little more at home when you get “caught in a mosh.”
#1 THROWING THE GOAT
Folks, this ain’t like cow tipping. “Throwing the goat” is the heavy metal sign that fans have been using for years to express the sentiment “metal-ness” or “rock on.” To do this right, your pinky finger and index finger should be lifted up and your other two fingers should be tucked in your palm and held down by your thumb. Make sure you don’t make the amateur mistake of extending out your thumb; that is an American Sign Language gesture meaning “I love you.” Although the latter phrase is likely how you feel about your favourite metal heroes, throwing an “I love you” while rocking out at a concert is downright insulting to the intended meaning behind the evil horns. (Note: Be cautious when using this gesture while in the Mediterranean, as the symbol has a rather indecent meaning in some countries.)
#2 THE “BIG FOUR”
Trying to make new friends is hard for everyone, but if you’re sitting in your seat during the uneventful pre-opener minutes of a show, a quick way to get the party started is to turn to your friendly neighbour and mention one of the “big four” thrash metal acts: Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax or Slayer. Chances are your neighbour loves one of these bands. So the door will be wide open for an intelligent conversation about which band has a better headbanging technique or which band members you think looked the best in skintight bubble gum jeans back in the ’80s.
#3 RöCK DöTS
When writing your name and number out on a piece of paper to hand to your brand new metal buddies, make sure you dot your Os and zeroes with heavy metal umlauts (or röck dots, for those of you who don’t know how to pronounce it). Nothing says, “I fuckin’ love metal and I know how to spell Motörhead properly! NYAAAH!” more than a few lovingly placed umlauts. But don’t make the newbie blunder of putting röck döts above a consonant such as “n.” The Spinal Tap mockumentary has röck döts over the “n” in its title, but those filmmakers are darn professionals. People will think you saw Spinal Tap for the first time the other night; an oversight like this could mean you’ll be singing along to “Master of Puppets” all by your lonesome.
