The orange is coming to eat you!
Phil Head
particularly in B.C., whereas oranges
are often imported from abroad,
particularly from Florida and California.
The Canada food guide recommends 5-12 servings of fruits and vegetables per day. The genesis of this recognition of the importance of fruits dates back even to biblical times, with fruits being a part of the diet of both Adam and Eve. However, despite the wide variety of fruits, two have an unquestioned hierarchy in Canada, the apple and the orange. This begs the question, which fruit is better?
This is a question of great social and economic importance, not just aesthetics. Apples are readily grown in Canada, particularly in B.C., whereas oranges are often imported from abroad, particularly from Florida and California. Thus, every orange you purchase gives an economic advantage to the United States. Canadian farmers deserve to enjoy the fruits of their labours.
By buying apples from Canada you provide jobs for Canadians. Frankly, any state responsible for thrusting Bush onto the international stage deserves little financial support from Canadians, particularly those with a bone to pick over the pigheaded refusal of the Americans to fully lift the beef ban.
A juicier argument rages regarding the refreshment factor of the fruits. Now apple juice can be refreshingly sweet, but some sour on it when compared to the citrus assault on the senses provided by orange juice. Nothing clears out the funky taste in your mouth in the morning like the bracing citric acid flush of orange juice. Simply put, oranges make one alert. Another reason that orange juice rules the breakfast table is the fact that it will often contain calcium supplements for those with a bovine excretion-reduced diet.
Unfortunately, people seem divided on the merits of pulp in their juice, a problem not encountered with apples. Also, few flavour combinations are as unpleasant as that of orange juice and mint-flavoured toothpaste. Fortunately, scientists have remedied this flagrant cause of morning suffering through the development of citrus-flavoured toothpaste.
Much of the orange’s appeal is skin deep. Unlike apples, which require extensive washing to remove the waxy residues and pesticides applied to their outer surfaces, the orange can simply be peeled. It is far better to be burdened with the need to peel than with cancer.
In terms of lunch, the orange has the contest in the bag. While both may become bruised while bumping around in a backpack, the apple undergoes striking changes in appearance and flavour when bruised. Oranges simply become mushier. The core of the problem with apples lies in the almost inedible inner regions. Unlike an orange, which could conceivably be eaten in a single mouthful, the apple is like a mine field filled with tooth-chipping seeds.
A more burning question on the minds of many is which are better for baking? Apples can be found in a plethora of pastries, such as pies, crisps and cakes. Apples can also be made into sauce and ciders, upon which you may become sauced. However, only oranges are able to remove the fowl taste of ducks, hence the reason you may never order duck au pomme at a French restaurant.
And speaking of cooks, one must never forget the pivotal role played by the citrus family in spreading the dominion of those no longer scurvy limies over half the earth. Of course, the fact that oranges could thus be considered a form of British cooking call their edible credentials into question.
In the end, the orange can never quite match the apple in my eye. However, to my knowledge, the apple was the forbidden fruit of the Bible, so I will have to pledge my allegiance to the self-descriptively named orange or risk the wrath of God.
Phil Head is a staff writer for the
Gateway, at the University of Alberta
